The Essential Light of Need
by TashaLaw
Summary: LL, PostSeason 6. When April is injured, Luke needs Lorelai. Can a tragedy bring them together again?
1. The Inevitable

The Essential Light of Need

**By**: Tashalaw

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Gilmore Girls. Don't sue me or I'll sue you back.

**Summary**: L/L, Post-Season 6. When April is injured, Luke needs Lorelai. Can a tragedy bring them together again?

**Note**: I haven't actually seen the entirety of season 6. I bought seasons 1-5 dvds in April and have been catching reruns on the WB as they come. I have, however, succeeded in spoiling myself irrevocably with fanfic and some recaps from TWoP. That said, if I miss a few details, please forgive me, but this story simply popped into my head after reading quite a few post-season 6 finale fics. Also, I don't remember them saying on the show how Luke's parents died, so I'm taking some artistic license.

**Rating**: K? I'm terrible at ratings. Its pretty tame.

* * *

Lorelai dressed quickly, her movements mechanical and graceless. She felt numb. It was as though after all the months of feeling pushed away by Luke and his refusal to elope with her the night before, she could no longer feel. Except, that wasn't quite true. She knew how she felt when she arrived on Christopher's doorstep - upset and drained and just _tired_.

But now, sitting on his bed the morning after they had... well, _the morning after _- she felt nothing. It was as though the worries that had been pressing upon her for so long had been lifted. She no longer had to worry about her problems with Luke. That weight was gone because she knew that in less than an hour she would drive into town, park her car, walk into the diner, make him follow her upstairs to his apartment, and tell him what she had done. And, having done that, their relationship would end.

And it would be her fault. It _was_ her fault.

Lorelai repeated the words in her mind like a mantra. _My fault. My fault._ She could almost hear Dr. Phil's accompanying southern drawl telling her to own her mistakes. She idly wondered if even he could help her fix this horrible situation.

"Hey Lore?" came a voice behind her, reminding her all over again of exactly what she had done. No, there would be no fixing _this_.

She stood up from the bed and turned to face him. He was standing in the bedroom door. "I have to go, Chris," she said, not quite meeting his eyes, hoping her declaration would prompt him to move out of her way.

"Do you have to?" he asked hopefully.

"Yes."

"But don't you want to at least talk about what we-"

"No," she stated with finality.

"But... last night, we-"

"I know what we did, Christopher," Lorelai interrupted sharply, not wanting to be reminded. This time she did meet his eyes. He was surprised by how vacant and lifeless they looked. Lorelai had always embodied the notion of life and energy in every aspect of her being. It bubbled forth from her like a never-ending stream. But the woman before him was not the Lorelai he knew, rather a shell of her former self. Christopher hated the man who had reduced her to such a state, not realizing that he shared in that blame.

"Lorelai..."

He took a step toward her, but she unconsciously flinched, and he could see her physically fighting not to back away from him.

"I have to go," she repeated. This time she worked up the nerve to walk towards the door (and him). But Christopher stood still, refusing to move. She stood just as stubbornly, refusing to ask. They stared at each other for a long moment, he in hope and she in resignation. They both knew the night before had been a mistake, but he had no wish to admit the truth and she could not bring herself to voice it.

"Fine," he said finally, moving aside to let her through the doorway. "I'll call you later," he added hopefully as she passed him.

"Don't," she said, pausing.

"I want to know how you're doing."

Lorelai let her head fall forward as she forced an ironic chuckle.

"You want to know how I'm doing?" she said quietly. She brought her empty gaze up to meet his again. "You want to know how I'm doing? Fine, I'll tell you. I just ruined the best thing I ever had by doing something so incredibly hurtful and... stupid. I cheated on the only man I've ever truly loved and in the process I've lost not only my fiance but my best friend. And its all my fault. I can't blame anyone, not even you. It was me and I screwed it up. So yeah, that's how I'm doing."

Christopher was speechless for a moment. "Lorelai..."

"Look Chris, this isn't your fault. Well, actually it is partially your fault, but its just as much, if not more, my fault. I came here. I sought you out. I knew what I was doing-"

"You're talking like this was all one big mistake!" he exclaimed.

"It was! It was a huge mistake. The worst mistake of my life," she finished quietly. Her words left Christopher stunned, the obvious hurt showing on his face.

"Lorelai, we belong together, you and me-"

"No, Christopher, we don't."

"You came here last night for a reason. There are a million other places you could have gone, but you came here."

"Yes, I came here. Because I was hurting and I needed someone to talk to," she confirmed. "But that doesn't mean anything."

"Of course it means something! It means that you needed someone and you came to me. You needed me. You trust me-"

"I needed Luke!" Lorelai exclaimed. Her declaration caused Christopher to fall silent. But when he opened his mouth to argue with her again, she continued forcefully, "I needed Luke. I _love _Luke. I always have and I always will. Nothing can change that."

She found herself unconsciously wiping away tears as they streamed down her cheeks. The warm wetness surprised her as she had felt certain she had no more tears left to cry after the night before.

"I love you, Lorelai," Christopher said simply, one final, desperate plea. She could tell by the set of his shoulders and the determined expression he wore that he was telling the truth. Or at least what he thought was the truth.

"I'm sorry, Chris, but I don't love you. I'm sorry." With that, she left his bedroom, found her purse in the living room, and walked out the front door.

As Lorelai arrived back in Star's Hollow, she realized she had absolutely no memory of the drive back from Boston. She could not even remember which route she had taken or how fast she had driven.

All she wanted to do was go home, crawl into bed, and forget the night before had ever happened. She didn't have a huge fight with Luke ending with an ultimatum and her walking away. They didn't break up. She didn't run to Christopher and sleep with him. It was all just one terrible dream.

But the adult part of Lorelai knew she could not continue running from her problems. Running had taken her away from Luke, had taken her to Christopher. Running had made things so much worse. And besides, she owed it to Luke to tell him the truth about what she had done.

_My fault._

Her hand trembled as she opened her car door to get out. Walking to the diner, she fought to keep her legs from shaking as she avoided the eyes of people she passed on the sidewalk. She was conscious of the fact that she still wore the same dress she had on the night before. Part of her wished she had gone home first to at least change, take a shower, get a cup of coffee. But she knew it would only be a stalling tactic; no matter what she did, she would still feel dirty - inside and out.

Lorelai could not bring herself to look in the window before entering the diner. Part of her wanted to hide from the gazes of those inside, some of whom had probably watched her fight with Luke the night before. Knowing the gossip mill in Stars Hollow, those who had not seen first-hand likely knew about it already. She wondered when Taylor would break out the ribbons again.

But as she walked into the diner, the first thing that occured to Lorelai was the absense of people. Even though it was time for Luke's usual early-morning rush, there was almost no one in the diner. Kirk and Lulu sat at a table in the corner and some tourist was reading a paper at the end of the counter. But no one else was eating, and even the few customers seemed to only be drinking coffee. Caesar stood behind the counter, his ever-present apron mistakably absent.

"Lorelai!" he greeted her in a mixture of surprise, warmth, and apprehension. He had obviously heard about the night before.

"Hey Caesar, is Luke around?" she asked, trying to keep her voice even and emotionless.

The look of pity he gave her was all the answer she needed, but he said, "No, he's not here. This morning when I came in he said the stove was broken and he was going to Woodbridge for parts to fix it. So I've just been serving coffee and whatever we have..." He pointed to the muffin and donut displays, which had been virtually picked clean. Lorelai could not help but wonder how many people in Star's Hollow besides herself relied on Luke for their daily meals.

"Oh. Okay."

"Can I get you some coffee?" he asked, and she cringed at the compassion in his voice.

"No thanks," she said quietly, slipping out of the diner and back to her car. The drive home was both anticlimatic and a relief - she still needed to confront Luke, but she had successfully avoided it for the time being.

Lorelai realized her respite was only temporary when she saw Luke's truck parked in her driveway. Steeling herself for the inevitable confrontation, she parked her car in the yard, careful not to block him in. She knew he would want to leave quickly after their conversation.

_My fault._

And then Lorelai saw him, sitting on the front porch steps like he had so many times before. She could not help but remember all the moments they had sat on those very steps, side by side, talking about their problems. The day he gave her the huppah he had built for her when she planned to marry Max. The day he offered to loan her money to fix the foundation on the Crap Shack. The night he told her about marrying (and subsequently planning to divorce) Nicole. Lorelai winced at the thought of him married to that woman, eloping with a woman he did not even love when just the night before he had refused to do the same with her.

But that had been a different Luke than the one sitting in front of her now. The man before her barely resembled 'her Luke.' He stood up as she approached and she noted the fatigue in his eyes, the stress in his slumped shoulders, the worry in his face. She did not realize that his posture closely mirrored her own.

"I thought you were in Woodbridge," she found herself saying by way of greeting. How do you segue into telling someone you betrayed them?

"What?" Luke looked confused. He had expected another emotional outburst like the one from the night before. But he could see immediately that the woman before him was much calmer, if not more sad than he had last seen her. No, 'sad' did not describe the expression she wore. 'Devastated' seemed to sum it up best, from her tired, puffy eyes to her listless hair and pale complexion. She looked as though she had spent the night crying. Even her bodily movements echoed despair as she walked towards him in slow resignation, as though she were going to the funeral of a loved one. Or her own.

"Caesar... he said you went to get parts to fix the stove at the diner," Lorelai explained quietly.

"Oh, that. Yeah, I took care of it," he said. Luke did not have the energy to tell her he made up the lie to Caesar about the stove being broken rather than close up the diner for the day. After their confrontation the night before, he could not focus on a restaurant full of nosy customers, but at the same time did not want to leave Caesar to handle things by himself.

They stood in silence for a few seconds, neither really knowing what to say. So much had been said already. He had spent half the night trying to understand where her outburst had come from. He knew they were going through a bit of a rough patch with April having suddenly entered their lives, but he thought they were working through that. That was until Lorelai started avoiding him. Then she showed up at the diner, crazed and frantic, insisting they elope. He did not understand what was going on, only that she was upset and terribly unhappy. And it was his fault for not having seen it before.

As he had closed up the diner after she left, he found a book April had accidently left there earlier in the week. At the time, he had stuck it behind the counter to give to her the next time he saw her. It was then, preoccupied with the ultimatum Lorelai had given him, that he suddenly made the connection between the two. Lorelai and April. Two parts of his life that he had held separate and apart from one another. He had done it out of fear and selfishness - fear that he would fail as a father and Lorelai would witness it first-hand, and the selfish wish to bond with April before Lorelai could enchant the girl with her unique brand of charm. Luke began to understand Lorelai's anxiety about getting married. They had postponed the wedding, but there was no new date set. And he had been pulling away from her in his attempts to connect with April. All apart from her, the woman he loved more than anything.

Standing before her after a night of cold self-reflection, Luke knew what he wanted. He wanted to take her in his arms and offer her all the assurances that he should have given the night before. And yet, he hesitated, seeing the anxious look in her eyes, as though she may bolt at any moment. And it did not bode well that she was in the clothes she had worn the previous day and obviously had spent the night somewhere other than her house.

"Are you okay?" he found himself asking, jumping over all the other obvious questions to the one that mattered the most.

Lorelai gave an ironic snort as she looked away from him. Her eyes floated over the house, the yard, the garage, the huppah... She squeezed them shut as a fresh wave of emotional pain swept over her at the thought of their wedding. The wedding that was never going to happen now.

"Not really," she answered truthfully, looking at the ground.

Luke moved towards her then, obeying the instinct to reach out and touch her. He took small, careful steps, as though moving too fast might scare her away like a frightened animal. But he stopped within a few feet of her as she held up her hands to ward him off.

"No, don't," she whispered, holding him at bay with the pain in her voice. "You can't. Not until I tell you..."

"Lorelai-" he began, not knowing what she was planning to tell him and at the same time not really caring. Luke knew there was so much they needed to talk about, but he also knew that he just had to hold her. Everything would be all right if he could just connect with her again.

"I slept with Christopher."

There, she had said it. Lorelai took a small measure of pride in her ability to actually get the words out. Four simple words. One sentence. The sentence that would effectively end her relationship with Luke forever. There could be no going back now, no attempts to lie or hide what she had done. He knew now, and he would leave her. She had left him with no choice. She had run to Christopher, the one thing he could never forgive her for, and she had betrayed him, cheated on him. Now that he knew, all she had left to do was weather the tide of ranting and recriminations from Luke that she so justly deserved.

She waited for several seconds, her eyes still focused on the grass at his feet as she waited for him to respond. When he still said nothing, she glanced up, wondering if he had heard her.

By the expression on Luke's face, it was clear he had heard her. But like a man given the news that he only had a week to live, he stood frozen, not sure how to react. He did not look angry - yet - only shocked, dumbfounded, as though he knew what she had just told him contained monumental significance but he could not yet process its meaning. Lorelai could not bear to see him so confused, stuck half-way between surprise and heartbreak.

_My fault. All my fault._

"I slept with Christopher," she repeated, hoping the words would make more sense a second time. "Last night," she added unnecessarily. Again, Luke did not reply, did not speak at all, but only stared at her with an unreadable expression. Unable to endure the heavy silence, Lorelai characteristically filled it with the rambling explanation that she knew was no explanation at all. "After I left last night I drove to Boston because I was upset and I needed to talk to someone. I don't know why I went there, really. It wasn't for that - I swear. I just needed someone to talk to and I knew Chris would be there. I didn't mean for anything to happen. It was a mistake. Such a mistake! I swear, Luke, it just happened. I know that doesn't excuse it, and I'm not asking for forgiveness, I just want you to understand..."

She was crying again, the tears catching in her throat, threatening to choke her with aching sobs. But she continued speaking, knowing this was her one shot to try to explain, to apologize, to just get it out. Luke stood in that same eerie silence listening to her but not reacting.

"I love you, Luke," Lorelai said desperately, wiping at the tears with the back of her hand. "You're the only one I've ever loved. I'm so sorry, Luke. I'm just so... sorry. I can't even tell you... I was just so upset and I didn't think you wanted to marry me, and I didn't know what to do! I didn't mean to run to Christopher. But I showed up there and it was like I wasn't me. I was pod-Lorelai who just wanted to forget all this ugliness ever happened, and I wasn't thinking. I didn't mean to do it. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm so sorry, Luke. You mean everything to me. I just... I love you, and I wanted to say... I'm so sorry."

Lorelai finished abruptly, sensing that if she continued speaking she would never be able to stop. And she knew Luke needed time to process, to understand what she had told him and to figure out how he felt. That was just the way he worked.

So she stood before him, trying desperately to stop the tears she could not hold back. And she waited for his reaction, expecting a typical Luke-style rant, or even a few well chosen remarks designed to strip away her soul. That was what she deserved, for him to lash out at her and show her how much she had hurt him. And yet, another part of Lorelai hoped beyond all reason or rationality that he would accept what she said as true, forgive her transgression, take her in his arms and make all the pain go away. It was a selfish desire, like wanting to win the lottery, but she could not help wishing for it.

In the end, Luke surprised her - he said nothing. He simply stared at her for several long moments, as though searching her eyes for some answer she did not have. And then, without another word, he walked past her to his truck and drove away.

As she watched him leave, Lorelai stopped fighting the tears and let them stream down her cheeks.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered to no one in particular.


	2. The Unexpected

After Luke left, Lorelai sat on the front porch for a long time, just staring at the clouds and the warm spring day. She thought it was ironic how the worst day of her life could be so clear and beautiful. The worst day of her life. The day she and Luke finally ended.

Staring down at the engagement ring on her finger, she wondered if their breaking up was simply inevitable. After all, it had taken them years to realize how they felt about one another and to actually act on those feelings. Eight years as friends. Two years in a relationship. One year engaged. And this was how it ended - a tearful confession on her front lawn. Where he had asked her to Liz's wedding, where he had walked her home afterward, where he had picked her up for their first date - and indeed, all their dates. It was here that their relationship had begun, so Lorelai supposed it was right that their relationship should end here as well. They had come full circle.

From her position on the front porch steps, Lorelai heard the phone inside ring. She almost let it go, figuring it was her parents or even Christopher, but then she got up to answer it, just in case it was Rory. She really needed to hear her daughter's voice, to know that everything in her life was not completely messed up.

As luck would have it, it was Rory.

"Mom?"

"Hi honey, how're you doing?"

"I'm calling because I'm worried about you. Babette just left me a message saying something about a fight you had with Luke," Rory said, her voice full of concern.

"Oh, Babette," Lorelai sighed quietly.

"Mom?"

"It's okay, hon, don't worry about it."

"But what's going on? Are you okay? Did you and Luke really have a fight in the front yard? And what is this I'm hearing about a fight at the diner last night?" That was her girl, so full of questions.

Although Lorelai knew her daughter was simply worried about her, the words were reminders, salt in her emotional wounds.

"Rory, I can't really talk about this right now," she said tightly, fighting to keep her composure. The last thing she wanted was to break into tears on the phone.

"Do you want me to come home?"

Lorelai ignored the instinct to take her daughter up on the offer, instead assuring her that she would be fine. Rory promised to call again that evening and to come visit in a few days. Lorelai hung up the phone, grateful to have gotten through the conversation without crying again.

Lorelai called Sookie to let her know she would not be in to work that day, making vague allusions to a stomach bug, which was not entirely a lie. She filled the rest of her morning with activity, intent on distracting herself from the empty, aching feeling in her gut. Lorelai knew part of it was hunger because she had not eaten anything since the day before. But mostly she chalked it up to the guilt she felt over hurting Luke and the destruction of their relationship. The first time they had broken up, she stayed in bed for two days, wallowing in her depression. Then, once she acknowledged that her life had to go on and she still had to get up and go to work every day, the sorrow settled in the back of her mind like a dull ache. She imagined it was like the pain of an amputee's phantom limb. This time, she skipped the bed-wallowing, going straight to the 'getting on with your life' stage. Only, she suspected that would never happen. She would never get over losing Luke.

Lorelai sat down to watch television, but nothing could keep her attention. She put on a movie but was unable to concentrate. She tried reading a magazine but the words blurred together. At one point she contemplated starting a 'Luke box,' but quickly gave up when she realized that there was not a big enough box in the world to hold all the items he had touched. And in the end, she would have to put herself in it as well, because their relationship had changed her irrevocably. She would never be able to forget Luke, to box up their memories and store them in a closet somewhere. She would simply have to live with it. For the rest of her life. The thought made her stomach hurt even more, and she laid down on the couch to ease the nausea.

She had almost drifted to sleep when a loud noise yanked her back into the waking world. Lorelai looked around in confusion as she tried to locate the source of the noise. It sounded like a knocking. Someone was knocking on her door. The concept seemed so foreign in her groggy brain. But as she stood to answer the door, she remembered her confrontations with Luke and the call from Babette to to her daughter. The whole town would know by now that she and Luke had broken up. And so she opened the door with a heavy heart, dreading having to deal with some well-meaning townsperson intent on ferreting out from her some morsel of gossip to share with everyone else.

It was Luke.

"Luke, what are you doing here?" she heard herself ask. He looked bad - worse than when he had left her house hours earlier. There was a new level of worry in his face, a spark of terror in his eyes.

"I just got a call from Anna," he said, sounding lost. "She said April was out riding her bike and she... she was hit by a car... They just drove off and left her there..." His voice abandoned him momentarily, and Lorelai suddenly understood the look he wore. He was a parent whose child was hurt.

"Luke..." she began, not sure what to say.

"I don't know what to do," he confided. "I didn't know where else to go."

"What else did Anna say?" Lorelai prompted, needing to know more about the situation. _Was April hurt? Well, of course she was hurt; she was just hit by a car. How bad is it? Is April...?_

"She said they're at the hospital." Luke still seemed to be in a daze, as though he himself had been hit by a car and had lost the ability to function on his own.

"Okay, well then, you should go to the hospital," she said, hoping to pull him out of the mental fog he was in. But Luke just nodded, and she suspected he would have agreed to anything she suggested. Lorelai could not leave him in such a state - there was no way he could safely drive anywhere by himself.

_He came to you_, the voice in her head insisted. _He needs you._

"Come on," she said, taking his hand and gently pulling him outside towards his truck.

Lorelai drove, and the entire way to the hospital Luke sat in silence. She did not want to press him, did not want him to focus more on the situation with April than he already was by asking a lot of unnecessary questions for which he had no answers. Part of her wanted to take his mind off of it, to reassure him, the way he had the time he drove her to the hospital to see her father. But Luke said nothing, blindly staring out the window, lost in his own thoughts, so she followed his example and remained quiet.

Her own thoughts were driving her crazy. On the surface, she was worried about April, worried about Luke. He had only just found his daughter a few months before. It would be so unfair to have her taken away now. And at the same time, Lorelai could not help but reflect on the fact that he had come to _her _- he had needed _her_, despite everything that had happened between them. Despite her confession that morning. Despite shutting her out of his life for so many months.

They arrived at the hospital in record time. As they entered the emergency room, Lorelai immediately sought out the nurses' station.

"We're looking for April Nardini," she said, glancing behind at Luke, who stood as stoic and silent as he had on her front porch. "She was hit by a car..."

The woman behind the counter leafed through some papers as she asked, "Relationship to the patient?"

Lorelai was momentarily stunned by the question. What was her relationship to April? Step-mother to be? Woman who saved her birthday? Friend of her father? Woman who broke her father's heart?

"This is her dad, and I'm... with him," she mustered, waving towards Luke.

The nurse glanced up to confirm Luke's presence before she pronounced, "She's in surgery right now. There was quite a bit of trauma from the accident and they're trying to get her stabilized. A doctor will be out to talk to you when we know more. There's a waiting room down the hall..."

Lorelai nodded and reached for Luke's hand to lead him in the direction the nurse had indicated. He followed wordlessly for a few steps but then stopped short. Noting the resistance in his arm, Lorelai turned back to him, her face a question.

Luke's expression had changed from dazed to terrified. "Luke?" she asked, pulling his hand gently towards the waiting area.

"What if she's..." he began, then stopped, sighed, and shut his eyes tightly. "What if she doesn't-"

"Luke," Lorelai interrupted, giving his hand a comforting squeeze. He looked up at her, tears beginning to cloud his vision. "She's going to be okay."

"How do you know?"

"She's strong, just like you. She'll make it through this." Even as the words left her mouth, Lorelai prayed they were true. "Come on," she added gently. "Lets go find Anna."

Anna was in the waiting room, and if Lorelai thought Luke looked bad, Anna was ten times worse. She looked on the verge of tears, though it was clear she was fighting to maintain some control over her emotions. When she saw them enter the room, she jumped up from her seat and approached.

"Luke! Thank God you're here," she said, completely ignoring Lorelai to focus on her child's father.

"I came as soon as you called," he managed. "How is she?"

"They took her in as soon as we got to the hospital. I rode with her in the ambulance. Someone came out a few minutes after we got here to say she had some kind of internal bleeding, but I haven't heard anything since then. That's when I called you," she said. And then her composure crumbled away. Her eyes crinkled and her lower lip began to quiver as the tears she had been holding back finally broke through. Instinctively, Luke let go of Lorelai's hand and put his arms around Anna, holding her as she cried into his shirt.

Lorelai looked on in sympathy, wishing there was something she could do to ease either parent's distress. While she had only met April twice, she was a sweet girl, full of life, and the possibility of losing her was unthinkable. She could remember the crushing fear she had felt upon getting Rory's phone call from the hospital after her car accident. At the same time, Lorelai had to fight back the tendrils of jealousy that arose in her at seeing Anna in Luke's arms. Of course he should comfort her - their child was in surgery. But watching them made Lorelai feel like an outsider, an unnecessary witness to their worried embrace.

Catching Luke's eye, she gestured to the door as she took a step back. "I'm just gonna see if I can find you two some tea or something," she told him softly. Anna continued sobbing into Luke's chest, and he nodded slightly at Lorelai in acknowledgement.

"Lorelai," his voice stopped her before she made it to the door. She looked back at him. "Thank you," he said.

Lorelai smiled encouragingly and then disappeared out of the waiting room.


	3. The Unspoken

**Author's note**: Thanks for the kind reviews! As I said before, I'm taking artistic license with the death of Luke's parents and his reasons for hating hospitals, which is an idea I know several writers have used in other stories.

* * *

**Chapter 3: The Unspoken**

On her way to the cafeteria, Lorelai called Rory to let her know about April. Rory insisted on coming to the hospital, but Lorelai convinced her to stay in New Haven, at least until they knew more.

"Is this why you were upset before?" her daughter asked.

"No, sweetie. Luke and I are just going through some stuff, and I... I did something I really regret, and I don't know if Luke will be able to get past it. But right now he needs to focus on April, and I'm just going to be here for him as much as he needs me."

Rory asked pointedly, "What did you do?"

Lorelai sighed heavily, not wanting to tell her daughter but knowing she would eventually. "I slept with Christopher."

"What! When?"

"Last night..." Lorelai looked around to make sure no one was near her in the cafeteria. Other than a worker refilling the packets of sugar on the condiment table, the place was empty. She idly wondered why they had the pink sweeteners when everyone knows they cause cancer. Well, cancer in laboratory mice. But if it causes cancer in mice, shouldn't it cause cancer in people? It even said it right on the side of the side of the packets. And to serve that type of thing in a hospital of all places-

"Mom?"

Oh right, Rory...

Lorelai told her daughter about the last few days, about talking to Anna and then the conversation with the psychiatrist. Then she gave an abreviated version of the conversation with Luke outside the diner. The ultimatum. Her walking away. Him not coming after her. Then the drive to Boston to see Christopher, followed by the night spent in his bed. She glossed over the details of that last part and ended with her confession to Luke that morning.

"And he didn't say anything when you told him?" Rory asked in disbelief.

"Nope, not a thing. He just walked away," she answered.

"Wow."

"And then he came back, after April called him about Anna, and he was just so... lost. He looked so lost, Rory, like he was in shock." Lorelai felt herself pause at the memory of him at her door, feeling a fresh wave of guilt wash over her for telling him about Christopher just hours before he found out April was in an accident. "God, I hope she's okay."

"She will be, Mom," Rory assured her.

"Look, I have to go. I wanted to give them a little time to themselves, but I don't want Luke to think I abandoned him."

"Okay, give me a call later."

"Rory?" Lorelai said suddenly. The memory of her daughter calling her from the hospital once again entered her mind.

"Yeah mom?"

"I love you. Be safe."

"I love you too, and I will."

Lorelai hung up her phone feeling both relieved that Rory was safe and sound, and sad that Luke's daughter was in a room somewhere fighting for her life.

* * *

When Luke was a boy, he loved climbing trees. Anytime his mother called him for dinner, all she had to do was look up in the big oak in front of their house and she would find him. That was until the day his foot slipped, he failed to keep a grip on the limb he was holding, and he fell fifteen feet to the ground, breaking his leg and spraining his wrist. So began his first experience with hospitals. Then, when his mother was diagnosed with cancer, visits to the hospital became common and routine. And in that setting, Luke not only watched his mother slowly wither away, but his father as well. After her death, William Danes was a shadow of his former self, mostly just going through the motions of life but finding no real pleasure in it. And yet, when he died years later in that very same hospital, Luke felt it more keenly than the loss of his mother. 

Thus, Luke hated hospitals, avoided them at all costs. The last time he had been in one was when he drove a frantic Lorelai to see her father in Hartford. And then he sat with her, waiting on the doctor.

Even more than hospitals in general, Luke hated waiting for doctors. They very rarely had anything good to say, and even then it was layered in conditions. "The prognosis is good for now." "If all goes well with the surgery..." "This new drug has shown a lot of promise in cases like these." Ultimately, they were all lies. His mother died a year after her first visit to their family doctor, wasting away from the drugs and the treatment and the cancer that slowly ate through her. And when his father went through the same thing all over again, the doctors gave the same statements about drugs and chemotherapy. They were platitudes sprinkled with hope, just enough to keep the patient from giving up on life completely, but not going so far as to be untruthful promises. Luke had known as soon as the doctors said the word "cancer," that his father was going to die.

So when the scrub-clad doctor entered the room where he and Anna were anxiously waiting for news, Luke was inclined to view everything the man said with more than a little skepticism.

"She's stable, but still in critical condition," the doctor informed them. Luke let out the breath he had been holding and Anna dissolved into a fresh round of sobbing. April was still alive. Stable but critical, but still alive. Despite a lifetime of disappointments with the medical field, Luke let himself feel hope that his daughter would be okay afterall.

The doctor went on to explain about internal bleeding and the surgery that had been done. The doctors would not know for sure that they stopped it for a few days, but the prognosis was good. Luke stifled a shudder at the word "prognosis," and he felt Anna slip her hand into his. She also had some broken bones - her right leg and left arm both hand compound fractures and would need casts.As well, it looked as though her other wrist had been strained. Typical injuries for an accident of this nature, the doctor told them.

Then the other shoe dropped: head trauma. Concussion. April was in a coma. Anna tried to argue that April had been wearing her helmet, that she always did when she rode her bicycle. The doctor told them it was good she had been wearing it, otherwise they might not even be having this conversation. But the fact still remained that their daughter may have sustained a head injury. She may not wake up at all, and even if she did, she may have irreversible brain damage. Then again, she may be completely fine.

"We won't know until she wakes up," the doctor said. An unspoken, "if she wakes up," hung in the air.

"Can we see her?" Anna asked.

"She's in the ICU right now, so only for a few minutes. And one at a time."

Luke let Anna go first, unable to watch as she disappeared down the corridor. But he was only alone for a moment before Lorelai entered, a bag in one hand and a drink carrier in the other.

"They didn't have any tea, so I got coffee and orange juice," she told him. The bag contained some sort of food, he noted idly. Perhaps muffins or pastries. He had not eaten anything all day. "Where's Anna?" Lorelai asked, sitting down in the seat next to him.

"She went to see April in the ICU. She's out of surgery." Luke went on to fill her in on what the doctor had told them, including the coma and possible brain damage.

"Oh Luke," she whispered, putting a hand on his arm in what she hoped was a gesture of comfort. She wanted to reassure him that April would be okay, that she would pull through. But she knew that empty promises were not what he needed. He needed his daughter to be okay, and that was something she could not give him, no matter how desperately she wished she could.

They sat quietly for several minutes, Luke staring at the far wall of the waiting room and Lorelai focusing on her shoes while glancing periodically over at Luke. She could feel the tension in his arm, in his body, and her mind raced as she tried to think of some way to help him, to make things better or easier for him. She was reminded of Rory's comment while they were at the hospital waiting to see Richard - she wanted to get coffee or make phone calls or just DO something besides sitting around _waiting_. But Lorelai had already gotten the coffee and made the only phone calls she knew to make - Rory, for her own sake, and Caesar, who promised to close up the diner for Luke. Now, there was nothing left to do but wait.

"You know," Luke said, breaking the silence that hung in the room like a shroud, "I think I understand now why you were so mad at me."

"What?" Lorelai asked in confusion. When was she mad at him? When he refused to elope with her the night before? He wanted to talk about that _now_?

"When Rory and Jess got in that accident and Rory was at the hospital," he said, and Lorelai stiffened at the memory. She withdrew her hand from his arm.

"I understand now why you were so mad," he continued, keeping his voice even and unemotional. She knew he had turned his head to look at her, but she was unable to meet his gaze, instead keeping her eyes focused on her hands clasped firmly in her lap. "All I can think about is whoever hit April and just... left her there. I want to find him and kill him. And whoever let him drive a car. The people at the DMV who gave him a license. Whatever salesman sold him the car. All of them. They're all responsible."

"You have a right to be angry, Luke," she told him. "But I shouldn't have gotten mad at you that night. You didn't have anything to do with Rory's accident."

"No, but I understand why you were. I'm so mad right now that I can't see straight." Despite the venom in his voice, Lorelai could tell his anger was borne of frustration, grief, and fear, not violence. Luke was not a violent man. He was sick with worry and it was manifesting as rage, the same thing that she had felt when she saw her own daughter in the hospital.

"You have a right to be angry," Lorelai repeated. "About April. About a lot of things."

She hoped that he heard the apology in her voice. Part of her wanted Luke to lash out at her, to yell and vent, to release his emotions in whatever way he could. Maybe it would make him feel better. And after what she had told him that morning, he had the best reason in the world to be angry with her. She deserved his wrath far more now than he had deserved hers that night of that car accident. If it relieved his pain and worry over April even a little, she would gladly suffer through whatever hateful words he could think to throw at her.

Luke reached out and carefully took one of Lorelai's hands, intertwining his fingers with hers. The sudden gesture caught her off guard and she looked up at him in curosity. His expression was not angry - at least not with her - only sad and frightened.

"Thank you for being here," he said quietly.

"Of course. Anything you need..."

"I know we have a lot to talk about," he began, but she cut him off.

"Not right now. We can talk about it later. Right now you need to focus on April," she assured him. They did need to talk, to discuss what she had said to him earlier. Christopher, April, Anna, all of it. Lorelai was still not sure Luke could forgive her for sleeping with Christopher, but she hoped it was possible that they could work through it, get past it. The guilt still knawed at her. How could she have done such a thing to him? It was she who was jealous of all the time he spent with April, of his desire to get to know his daughter without her. It was she who never told him how much that hurt her and made her doubt that he wanted to marry her. And it was she who went to Christopher, like she always did.

"That's been our problem, hasn't it?" he said, interrupting her self recriminations.

"Huh?"

"I've been focusing too much on April. I've been neglecting you. That's why... why you wanted to elope last night." _That's why you went to Christopher. _He stared at their joined hands, and she could see moisture gathering in his eyes.

"Luke, we don't need to talk about it now-"

"Luke." Both of them looked up to see Anna standing in the doorway to the waiting room. Luke jumped to his feet and was instantly by her side.

"How is she? Did you see her? Is she okay? How does she look?" he fired off the questions.

"I sat with her for a little while. They have her on a ventilator but..." Anna fought against her emotions, not wanting to lose control again, especially in front of Luke's girlfriend, who had returned from whereever she had disappeared to earlier.

"Can I see her?" Luke asked. She nodded and pointed in the direction she had come from.

"The ICU is down the hall, then the first set of double doors to the left. There's a nurse than can show you to her room."

Luke glanced over at Lorelai, either seeking reassurance or giving it, he was not sure.

"Go," Lorelai told him. "We'll be here when you get back."

He nodded in thanks, then left the two women to go find his daughter.


	4. The Apprehension

**Chapter 4: The Apprehension**

After Luke left to see April, Anna continued to stand by the door of the waiting room, resolutely refusing to look at Lorelai.

"I got some coffee and donuts," Lorelai told her, hoping to break the icy silence. "I wasn't sure how long you'd been here or if maybe you and Luke wanted something to eat..."

"Luke doesn't eat donuts," Anna pointed out harshly, as though that was something his girlfriend/fiance/whatever she was, should have known.

"No, that's why I got him an apple and some muffins," Lorelai said, opening the bag so that she could look inside. "Blueberry and poppy seed. They're not really all that healthy, but they're better than donuts. Although, that isn't saying a lot considering how unhealthy donuts are. I didn't know what you'd like, so I just got an assortment-"

"I'm not hungry," Anna cut her off, effectively ending the conversation. She sat down in the chair nearest the door and continued her earlier occupation of ignoring Lorelai and worrying about her daughter.

The two women sat quietly for a long time, neither looking at the other or saying anything. But after a while, Lorelai noticed that Anna's calm facade was slipping, and that the tears she was fighting earlier had finally won the battle. She wiped at her cheeks with the back of her shirt and stifled the sniffles that accompanied them.

Not knowing what else to do and not wanting to further irritate Anna when she was so upset, Lorelai simply looked away, hoping she was affording the woman some measure of privacy. But as the sniffling grew louder, Lorelai gave in to her initial inclination and reached in her purse for the packet of tissues she usually carried. Wordlessly, she walked over to Anna, holding them out to her. When Anna refused to look up or take them from her, Loreai simply set them on the seat next to her and returned to where she had been sitting.

After a few more moments of struggling for self control, Anna broke her resolve and reached for the tissues. Pulling one to her face, she wiped at her eyes, and Lorelai could not bring herself to feel anything but pity for the woman. She chalked it up to the 'Mom code' and tried not to think about how emotional she had been when Rory was hurt.

When Luke returned, he noticed the rift between his fiance and April's mother but made no comment. Instead, he took his place in the chair beside Lorelai and casually put his arm around her.

"How is she?" Lorelai asked.

"Still unconscious," Luke said, also directing his answer to Anna. "The doctor said they want to watch her for a couple of hours before they move her out of the ICU. Then we'll be able to sit with her."

Anna nodded, then said, "I'm going to go make a couple of phone calls. I need to make sure the store's covered. I'll be back in a few minutes."

As she left the room, Luke suddenly remembered his own business. "The diner! I need to call Caesar..."

"I already talked to him. He said he could close up. There haven't been a lot of customers since you've been in 'Woodbridge' all day getting parts for the stove," Lorelai told him gently.

"You called?"

"When I went to get coffee. And I called Rory. I hope you don't mind."

Luke shook his head.

"You know, you don't have to stay," he offered. "I don't know if you need to get to the Inn or somewhere..."

"No, its fine. I called in sick this morning," Lorelai said quietly. Had it only been that morning? Her tearful confession to Luke seemed so far away now, so long ago. So insignificant, all of it, in light of the situation with April.

"Oh." Luke's voice betrayed his realization of why exactly she had taken the day off.

"But I can leave if you'd rather me not be here," she added, suddenly feeling paranoid. Maybe he was uncomfortable having her around now, especially with Anna present. Maybe the stress and shock of the accident had finally worn off and he wanted to be away from her...

"I want you here," he said decisively.

Lorelai smiled. "Then I'm here. As long as you want me."

* * *

The rest of the afternoon passed slowly as they waited for April to be moved out of the ICU. Anna continued to be standoffish to Lorelai, but in Luke's presence she at least showed perfunctory politeness. For all three, the waiting was unbearable. They did not converse more than necessary, and Lorelai found this the most difficult. She was used to talking her way out of and through her problems. But she knew Luke preferred quiet when he was upset, and she had no desire to further irritate Anna with her incessant chatter. 

It was a relief when a doctor came to tell them April was being transferred to her own room. Although all three followed a nurse to her room on the third floor, Lorelai balked when they reached the door.

"Luke," she said gently. "Why don't I go get you something to eat? You didn't touch the stuff I got before and you need to eat something if you want to keep your energy up for April."

He just nodded distractedly, and Lorelai was able to escape without dealing with the awkwardness of waiting outside April's room so her parents could be with her in private. She took the opportunity to run across the street to a grocery store and get Luke some real food - a salad and turkey sandwich with low-fat mayonaisse. She also bought some snacks for herself and Anna, just in case. At the same time, Lorelai took the opportunity to check in with Rory and call to ask Babette to feed Paul Anka and let him out. She also saw that she had three missed calls and two messages from Christopher, but she put her phone away without listening to them. Christopher was the last person she wanted to deal with at that moment.

By the time Lorelai got back to the hospital, an hour had passed. Luke had begun to wonder if she was even returning or if she had simply gone home. But when he saw her walking down the hallway with a bag in one hand and a new tray of drinks in the other, he smiled, happy that she was there.

"Jeez," she said as she reached him. "This place is like a prison! The nurses were all over me. I had to do a Mission Impossible sequence just to smuggle this stuff in. Back corridors, badly lit stairwells, even had to crawl through a few ventilation ducts. Sorry if there's some dust in your salad. How's April?"

Luke took the tray of drinks from her and noted that two were coffee, one was milk, and one was tea. She brought him tea in the hospital.

"She's still not awake, but the doctors say she's doing well. Blood pressure and all that is good."

"That's something."

"Yeah." Luke paused, glancing at the door to April's room and then back at Lorelai. She could see the uncertainty in his eyes.

"Hey, why don't you take the tea and a cup of coffee for Anna, and I'll take the rest of this stuff over to that waiting room I saw back there," Lorelai suggested. "And when you get a chance, you and Anna - I brought some food for her, not sure what she likes or if she's hungry - but when you get a chance you can come get something to eat. And I'll just wait there and make sure Nurse Ratchet doesn't throw us out for bringing in food that doesn't taste like cardboard."

"Yeah, okay," he said. "I'll be there in a few minutes."

He gave her a tired smile before taking the two drinks and disappearing into the hospital room. Lorelai sighed, glad that Luke still wanted her there but sad that she still seemed to hold the position of outsider.


	5. The Understanding

**Author's Note: **Thank you for all the great reviews! I'm having a great time writing this story, but they really make all the difference. For those who have commented on Anna's cold treatment of Lorelai - people deal with stress differently. She's already got some issues with Lorelai that I hope to explore later in the story, but I think that since Anna doesn't have the person who hit April to take the blame, she's latching onto whatever scape goat she can find.

**Chapter 5: Understanding**

As Luke went back into April's room, it occured to him how easy Lorelai made everything. Perhaps that's why he had taken her for granted the past few months, had taken for granted that he could keep her separate from April and that she would understand. She had been so great, through all of it. When she found out about his daughter, she simply accepted it, even though he had hidden it from her for months. She allowed him to keep her away from April, despite the fact that she wanted to get to know her future step-daughter. Luke flashed back to the day the two of them went shopping and she tried to help him pick out a birthday gift for April, only to have him tell her he wanted April to himself, that he was afraid April would like Lorelai more than him. And then, despite his childish jealousy, she rescued him with April's party, making it a fun and memorable day for the girl. Lorelai even replaced his uninspired gift with something she knew April would actually like.

Luke also remembered their weekend at Martha's Vineyard, how Lorelai had opened up to him and told him about her fears that they would not get married. He thought that he had reassured her then, but he could see how his actions afterward would make those words seem like an empty promise. Suddenly it was as though all the pieces started to fit. Lorelai getting drunk at Lane's wedding. Lorelai avoiding him. Hell, her general unhappiness for the past few months - ever since she found out about April. Her ultimatum to elope. Her night with Christopher.

That last one still hurt him. He wanted to be angry. Indeed, after Lorelai had told him that morning - was it really just that morning? - he had walked around town for an hour in a blind rage. Part of him wanted to scream at her, to hurt her the way she had hurt him. But he just left her house without saying a word and walked into town, then around and around as he tried to sort through his anger. He actually went so far as to kick his truck, figuring he could not get arrested for doing damage to his own property. But through the hurt and anger and disappointment, he knew this was not just a classic Lorelai-running-away scenario. He had seen her run away, and this was not it. This was pure self-destruction. She had been upset that night, clearly. He had never seen her so upset. And he had not gone after her. Perhaps if he had, if he had eloped with her as she wanted or at least forced her to tell him what was going on... His thoughts on this issue just went round and round.

But when Anna had called him that afternoon, Luke had finally reached a point in processing his anger over Lorelai's infidelity to actually consider returning to her and talking things out. But when he found out about April's accident, his mind went completely blank. He had no recollection of driving his truck to Lorelai's house. The fact that he had done so only registered when she opened the door and stared at him, shocked by his presence. However, once he told her about April, Lorelai took care of things. She drove him to the hospital; she got him to April. And she was still there, sitting down the hallwith food and tea in a waiting room because she knew Anna was uncomfortable with her around.

Lorelai was there - for him. Because he needed her. No matter what she had done or how hurt he felt by it, that was something.

* * *

"Lorelai?" 

She looked up when she heard Luke say her name. She had only been sitting in the waiting room for half an hour, having devoured the cup of coffee and half the junk food she'd bought. A six-month old People magazine was open in her lap and a copy of Parenting lay on the seat next to her for when she got bored with the outdated Jen & Brad breakup literature.

"Any change?" she asked, putting the magazine aside as she stood up.

"No. But I sent Anna home for a while. Told her I'd call if anything... happened. She'll be back in a few hours."

"Oh... okay, well you want something to eat?" Lorelai gestured at the bag of food she had brought, knowing he had eaten nothing all day.

But Luke shook his head, too preoccupied for food.

"I don't want to leave April for too long," he explained. "You know, in case she wakes up."

"Yeah, sure."

"So, I'm going to go back..." he said, inclining his head towards the door. Lorelai nodded, and was about to return to her People when Luke's voice stopped her. "Do you want to... come with me?"

Lorelai's face lit up automatically, but she quickly schooled her features back to the more somber expression she had maintained all day. April was in the hospital, after all. She was in a coma. Definitely not appropriate to feel happy about anything, let alone getting to sit by her bedside with Luke. But still, the idea of being there for Luke, of getting to see April, it made her feel useful. Needed.

"If that's okay," she answered quietly. "I mean, if you want me to."

His only answer was to wave her over to him, then wrap an arm around her waist as he guided her towards April's room.

* * *

April looked small and pale in the hospital bed, her leg and arm already fitted with casts. Her other wrist, the right one, had a brace. She also had a small bandage on the front of her head. Lorelai thought the girl looked different somehow, beyond the medical monitors and bandages and signs of broken bones. It took her a second to realize it was because she was not wearing her glasses. 

"She's breathing on her own?" Lorelai noted, seeing the inoperational ventilator next to the girl's bed. "That's a good sign."

"Yeah, that's what the doctor said."

Luke sat in the chair next to April's bed with Lorelai in a seat next to him. It was both sad and surreal that this was the closest she had felt to him in months, both physically and emotionally. And yet, what a high price it had come at: a beautiful little girl in a hospital bed.

"She looks like you," Lorelai observed.

"You think?" He sounded bemused by the concept.

"Oh, definitely. Look at that chin. That's definitely a 'Luke' chin."

"Huh." Luke liked the idea that April resembled him in some way.

"And when she smiles, that's definitely a 'Luke' smile," Lorelai added.

As if she could conjur it simply by saying the word, the corners of his mouth lifted into a slight smile. He reached out to take April's hand in his, careful not to disturb the braceas he touched her gently, like she was made of fine china.

When Luke spoke again, it was very quiet, almost a whisper. "I never thought I'd be a father."

Lorelai reached out to softly rub his back, needing the contact with him almost as much as she wanted to give it. "I'm glad you got the chance," she told him sincerely.

"I always thought if I did have a kid..."

He glanced at her and she completed his thought, "...it would be our kid."

"Yeah."

Neither said anything for several moments, and Luke returned his attention to April. He could feel Lorelai's hand making gentle circles on his back, and he wished he could express how much the gesture soothed him.

"That's still a possibility," Lorelai said finally, her voice heartbreakingly hesitant, as though she were asking a question rather than making a statement.

Luke sat completely still, not sure what to say in reply. But after a few seconds, he carefully laid April's hand back down on the bed and sat back in his chair to better look Lorelai in the eye.

"You really think you could go without coffee for that long?" he asked in mock seriousness, cocking his head to the side to let her know he was teasing. Mostly.

But Lorelai's expression was somber, without a trace of humor. "Yes," she said meaningfully. The word was more of an appeal than an answer, a plea for him to believe her, that she wanted them to have _that _life together.

Luke nodded in understanding. "Good," he added awkwardly, not entirely sure how to reply. "That's good."

Definitely good.

"Luke?"

They both turned to see April, her eyes half-open, blinking at them sleepily. She was out of the coma.


	6. The Exchange

Author's Note: This chapter's a bit longer than the rest, but there were some things that needed to be resolved before the story could go further. This is my favorite chapter that I've written so far, so please review!

**Chapter 6: The Exchange**

For most of the night April went in and out of consciousness, sleeping for long periods and even upon waking, she was unable to stay awake for longer than a few minutes at a time. The doctors said this was normal because she had recently had surgery and was still under the effects of the anesthesia. But the fact that she was awake and aware of her surroundings was a very positive sign. It would take a while to determine whether there was any brain damage or memory loss from the accident, but overall, she seemed to be doing very well.

Luke stayed by his daughter's side all night. Lorelai stepped out to call Anna and give her the good news. Once she arrived at the hospital, Anna sat with April and Luke until the first rays of sunlight began to stream in through the window. Lorelai had decided to give the three of them time to themselves and returned to the waiting room. But the stress and fatigue from the past few days finally caught up with her, and she fell asleep, slumped sideways in the uncomfortable hospital chair.

"Lorelai," Luke whispered softly as he shook her awake early the next morning. "Have you been here all night? I thought you went home."

"Oh. Well, I just thought I'd stick around in case you needed me," she said groggily. "How's April?"

"Still in and out. She was awake for a few minutes about an hour ago. Said something about taping a show on the Discovery channel, but she fell back asleep before I could ask which one."

Lorelai smiled. "Sounds like she's going to be okay." She fought back a yawn, but Luke noticed.

"Come on, let me take you home," he suggested.

"I'm fine," she insisted. "Unless you want me to go..." She still felt hesitant, unsure of where they stood with each other.

Luke noticed her uncertainty. He quickly suggested, "How about we both take a break? The doctor says April's doing well and she's probably going to just sleep most of the day. And Anna got some rest last night, so she's going to stay this morning. I figured I'd go take a shower and catch some sleep, then come back again this afternoon." Lorelai nodded her agreement, glad that he was going to get some rest. "Come on," he said, pulling her out of the chair. "Lets go home."

* * *

As they pulled up in Lorelai's driveway, Luke put the truck in park and turned off the engine. However, neither moved to get out immediately, each glancing over to see what the other would say or do. 

"I'm not really all that tired," he declared after a moment. "I thought I would be since I haven't really slept the last two nights. But I don't think I could sleep right now even if I wanted to."

Although physically exhausted, Lorelai felt the same way. Her nap in the chair at the hospital had been rejuvenating, even if it had given her a stiff neck. And sitting in the truck next to Luke, she knew that sleep was the furthest thing from her mind.

"Do you want to come in for a minute?" she asked, trying not to think about how weird it sounded to invite him into the house that was supposed to be _theirs_. And yet, it was still hers, despite all the improvements he had done and all the nights they had spent there together. She wondered if that would ever change.

Luke responded immediately, "Sure."

Lorelai tried to ignore the awkwardness as he followed her to the house, up the front steps, and through the door into the foyer. Standing in the foyer reminded her of the time they made up after their last break-up. He had knocked on her door, then swept her into the most passionate kiss she had ever experienced. She remembered how good it felt to be back in his arms, to have him forgive her so fully and completely (and suddenly). It had been her second chance with him, and she had promised herself she would not ruin it.

She wondered if there was a single place in her whole house that did not prompt a memory of Luke. None came to mind.

"I can make some tea," she suggested, hanging her purse by the door as she headed into the kitchen. Paul Anka looked up from his position on the landing of the stairs as she passed. Babette had obviously fed and walked him, as he showed no inclination to abandon his comfortable spot.

"Okay." Luke followed her, glad that she was taking the lead. He knew they needed to discuss things, but he had no idea how to broach the topic. Leaning against the counter while she filled the teapot with water, he fiddled nervously with the back of his baseball cap.

"We should talk," he said after a moment, regretting how harsh the words sounded and the stiffness that immediately rippled through Lorelai's body. Luke could actually see her tense up as she took a ragged, halting breath. She seemed as though she was preparing herself for something painful, yet entirely unavoidable.

When she turned to look at him, he saw the naked vulnerability in her eyes. They reflected both the hurt she felt and the guilt she so obviously carried with her. Luke knew she was sorry for the night spent with Christopher. Even if she had not already said it, her regret was written in every line of her face, every movement of her body. Since the moment he had seen her the morning before, everything she said or did reflected the sentiment of remorse.

Despite her reaction to his words, she seemed glad to finally have the issue brought up. She began speaking before he could formulate what he wanted to say.

"Luke, I'm so sorry. I don't know what else to say except that - I'm sorry. I know that doesn't make up for what I did. Nothing can, but I swear to you-"

"Do you love Christopher?" Luke interrupted, cutting right to the heart of the matter.

She paused for half a second, the question throwing her off track. But as his words registered in her mind, she immediately answered. "No, I don't. I love you. Its always been you, Luke. Only you. You have to believe that."

He pointed out, "But you went to him. When I wouldn't elope with you." Lorelai nodded sadly, unable to defend herself on that count. She fought back the tears that threatened, desperate to maintain her composure in front of him. "You were so upset that you went to him - to Christopher?" he prompted her.

"I'm so sorry, Luke. I didn't plan it. It just happened, I swear! It was a mistake. God, I wish I could take it back. I would give anything to take it back-"

"You said you didn't think we were going to get married," Luke interrupted again.

"No, I didn't," she confirmed.

"Because of April. Because I pushed you away."

It seemed to Lorelai as though he were seeking some sort of answer, some sort of reason for her infidelity. Part of her wanted him to understand why she had done what she had done. If their relationship was going to work, he had to know what was bothering her so much. But at the same time, Lorelai knew nothing he had done warranted her indiscretion. The blame for that was hers and hers alone. Even she could not fully comprehend why she had gone to Christopher's apartment that night. Or why she had slept with him.

"Luke... what I did was my fault. Yes, I felt like you were pushing me away, like we were never going to get married. I felt like... it was just never going to happen. We weren't going to make it. I mean, you found out you had a daughter and you didn't tell me for two months. And then, we postponed the wedding indefinitely. And you've been trying to get to know April - I understand that. Its just... its just been so hard because it feels like you don't want me to be a part of that, a part of your life. You don't want me around April because you think she'll like me more than you, but you let her hang out with everyone else in town. And then when I started to think maybe we were making progress, when you asked me to help with the birthday party, Anna said she doesn't want me around April unless we're married-"

"Wait, Anna said that to you?" Luke asked.

Lorelai nodded slightly. The tears had finally won the battle with her self control, coming unbidden as she wiped at them angrily, hating herself for being so emotional. "When I went over there after the party to talk to her, when you said she was mad about me being at April's birthday. She said she didn't want April to get attached to me because you and I might break up. So I told her that we're engaged, that you and I, we're stable. But she said engaged doesn't mean anything, that we could still break up. And so I don't know, I just thought if we got married, everything would be better. Maybe you could let me in, then. Maybe we could actually make it."

Luke digested her words for a moment before speaking again. He focused on the ground, unable to watch Lorelai cry right in front of him. "But that's not when you came to the diner..." he said, desperately trying to sort through the mess of the past few days.

"No, I came to the diner after Friday Night Dinner Theater at the Gilmores and my conversation with this shrink Emily was trying to set up with Christopher. I ended up telling her - the psychiatrist, while sitting in the back of her car no less- all about us. About how you were the only man I've ever really loved. And she said that if I wanted something, I should ask for it. Otherwise I would never get it. And I wanted to get married, Luke, so much. I wanted us to get married and have another kid and be that couple who was married for most of their lives, like Liz said before she married TJ. All of it. I wanted all of it, so much." The tears which had quietly been streaming down her face caught in her throat, and Lorelai began to sob. "I'm so sorry I messed it up, Luke. I'm sorry I slept with Christopher, and not just because it ruined everything. I'm so, so sorry I hurt you - I never wanted to hurt you. I'll never forgive myself for that. If you believe nothing else I've ever told you, please believe that."

When Lorelai's voice finally failed her and the sobs began to rack her body uncontrollably, Luke could stand it no longer. He moved forward and wrapped his arms around her, laying her head firmly against his chest. One hand gently stroked her hair while the other fastened itself securely around her waist. Lorelai cried harder at the contact, but he could feel her relax into his embrace as she allowed her own arms to wrap around him in return. Her touch was gentle, a bare brush against his body, as though she were afraid to scare him away by holding him too tightly.

"Its going to be okay," he whispered to her. "Everything's going to be okay."

They stood that way for a long time with Luke holding her as she cried. It was as though all the pent-up emotions and hidden feelings of the past few months were finding their way out.

Eventually, the tears began to subside, and Lorelai calmed down enough to realize they could not stand in her kitchen forever. But she was reluctant to let him go, the fear that he would never touch her again was so overwhelming. Finally, Luke readjusted his arms and pulled back from her, just enough that he could meet her gaze.

Her eyes were puffy and red from crying, but they seemedan even brighter shade of bluethan usual. Luke reached one hand up to wipe away the stream of moisture that had collected on her cheek.

"I'm beginning to think I should reevaluate that whole 'carrying a hankerchief' idea. I can see why they'd come in handy," he said softly, giving her a small smile. Lorelai smiled back and laughed nervously, the way someone does when a dramatic moment is broken by humor. She was glad he was joking with her. She was glad he was even speaking to her.

"Well, if you don't mind me using your shirt," Lorelai said, matching the lightness in his voice.

But when Luke merely looked at her without answering, she started to feel uncomfortable and exposed. She forcefully reminded herself that the man in front of her, the man with his arms around her, was not her fiance, Luke. This man was Luke, man she cheated on and then broke down crying in front of in her kitchen. Luke, whom she had given an ultimatum and then walked away from, straight into the arms of another man. And not just any other man - Christopher. Rory's father. The man who was responsible for their first break-up. The man she probably would have marryied if Sherry had not gotten pregnant. The man Luke felt the most threatened by and who inspired the most jealousy.

"Sorry," Lorelai whispered, pulling away from Luke and his tear-soaked shirt. He let go of her immediately but allowed her step out of his reach rather than remove his hands. She reached around him to snag a paper towel from the roll on the counter, using it to wipe away the last of the moisture on her face. "I'm sorry about the crying," she said with a fake laugh, her voice trembling with nervousness. "Here you just got back from seeing your daughter at the hospital and I'm blubbering at you-"

"Stop apologizing," Luke stated, his severe inflection making it a command.

Lorelai almost answered with "I'm sorry" out of habit but stopped herself. His next words surprised her.

"You aren't the only one to blame in this, Lorelai. I should have handled things differently. I should have treated you better, should have realized what I was putting you through. _I'm _sorry. You deserve a lot better than that."

"But what I did..."

"Do you love Christopher?" Luke asked.

"No," she said immediately, confused by the question. How could he ask her that? Hadn't he heard anything she'd said?

"Do you want to be with him?"

"No, of course not." Lorelai sounded offended by the insinuation.

Luke was silent for a minute, and she could visibly see him processing their exchange. Not knowing what to say or even where the conversation was going, Lorelai kept quiet as well, staring at the floor.

"I believe you," he said finally.

She let out a breath. "Good, 'cause its the truth."

"I know I should be mad about Christopher, and when you told me, I was. I kicked the crap out of my truck, actually. But... I believe that you don't love him and that it was a mistake. You went to him because you were upset. That bothers me because you should have come to me. But I think I understand why you didn't." There was sadness in Luke's voice, a sort of suffering acceptance of things he could not change. He was making emotional compromises to allow his inconsistent feelings to exist side by side in the same body. He loved her, therefore he had to forgive her. And to do that, he had to comprehend her choices, her state of mind. He had to know that going to Christopher was a one-time deal, not something that would happen again and again. She was on shaky ground considering her past history with him, but Luke had to find a way to come to terms with it, to trust her again.

"Luke, I know I should have come to you before, but I felt like I was losing you. Like you were pushing me away. And I didn't know how to deal with that. Then at the diner, when I wanted to elope, I was frantic. It felt like it was my last chance to convince you, and when I didn't..."

"We've both made mistakes," he acknowledged, not wanting to think anymore about her with Christopher. The surrealness of the situation hit him suddenly, that they were standing in her kitchen discussing her infidelity, and he was ready to forgive her for it. It was a place in their relationship he had never imagined they would be. He was in no way certain they could go back to where they were before - before Christopher, before April, before all of it. But Luke knew he had to try. He knew he could not walk away from her while she still said she loved him. Not when she said that he was the only man she had ever loved. Not when she would willingly sit with him in a hospital all day despite the uncertainty in their relationship. Not while he still loved her beyond all reason or sanity.

Sighing deeply, he said, "I guess the question is, where do we go from here?"

Lorelai was uncharacteristically quiet, unsure how to answer his question. Was it rhetorical? Did he want her to apologize again? She was ready and willing to apologize as many times as he wanted, but he had already told her not to.

"Do you love me?" she asked hesitantly, knowing the answer already but needing to hear it.

"Yes."

"Do you still want to be with me?"

"Yes," he sighed in response, the word sounding like a confession. Like a plea. "I still want to be with you."

"Is it possible... can you forgive me?" There, she had managed to reach the crux of the matter. The entire fate of their relationship depended on his answer to that one simple question.

He did not answer immediately, and Lorelai felt her heart constrict in her chest. Maybe he could not forgive her. Maybe all of this - the hospital, the crying, the heart-rending conversation - had been for nothing.

"Yes, I forgive you," Luke said finally, and she let out the breath she did not realize she had been holding. "Can _you _forgive _me_? For shutting you out, for not telling you about April sooner, for pushing off the wedding?"

Lorelai began nodding emphatically before he even finished speaking. "Yes, of course," she answered immediately.

Luke smiled at her, his blue eyes sparkling with tears that she knew he would never allow to fall. "Okay then."

"Okay then," she echoed him. She smiled as well.

He once again reached out for her, and she allowed him to envelope her in his arms. But this time he kissed her, deeply and with the passion he had always felt for her. Lorelai melted into him, relief flowing through her like anti-caffeine. She relaxed into his arms as the last of her mental barriers crumbled. There was no denying it: she _needed _this man, like she needed food or water or oxygen. The past few months, she had been slowly starving to death from the lack of him, as he shut himself off from her. But now she had him again - really had him. It felt like a reprieve, an eleventh hour pardon from a lifetime of loneliness.

Luke broke the kiss, but he kept his arms wrapped tightly around her. "We should get some sleep," he whispered. "It's been a long couple of days." Lorelai nodded at this, remembering that he would be returning to the hospital in a few hours to check on April. "We can talk more later."

"Absolutely," she agreed.

They walked to the stairs with their arms around each another, Paul Anka close on their heels. Each of them was full of hope, full of gratitude, full of resolve to make things work this time. While there was a lot more they needed to work out, they had made real progress. They were moving forward again. And for now, that was enough.

tbc...


	7. The Assurance

**Author's Note: **Thanks again for all the wonderful reviews. Your comments and encouragements are wonderful motivators.

**Chapter 7: The Assurance**

When Lorelai awoke, the first thing she noticed was that she was alone. It took her a few moments to understand why that fact bothered her so much. With Luke so busy with the diner and spending time with April, he rarely stayed the night with her any more. So why was it so disconcerning to wake up without him next to her?

Suddenly, the events of the previous day hit her and sat up in bed, fully awake. Looking over, she confirmed that Luke was gone. His side of the bed was empty, and the indention in the sheet where his body had been was cool to the touch.

Fighting back panic, Lorelai climbed out of bed and made her way downstairs. Although it was early afternoon, her watch told her that at least six hours had passed since she and Luke had gone to bed that morning. Both were exhausted from the all-night vigil at the hospital, Luke with Anna at April's side and Lorelai in chair in the waiting room. But when she walked into the empty kitchen and saw no evidence of his presence, Lorelai began to wonder if she had dreamed the entire thing.

_But he said he loved me_, she thought frantically. _He forgave me. It can't be a dream. And April... what about April?_

As if in answer to her frantic mental state, Lorelai heard the front door open. She quickly went to see who had entered her house without knocking, and she ran straight into Luke, letting out a scream of surprise that startled them both.

"Lorelai!" he exclaimed, automatically grabbing her shoulder to keep her from losing her footing.

"You scared me to death!" she declared, putting one hand over her heart as though to keep it from bursting forth from her chest.

"Who did you think it was?" Luke asked in amusement.

Lorelai rolled her eyes and shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. It could have been anyone. You know I never lock my door." Her statement caused Luke to frown in annoyance. He hated that she was so lax in household security. She quickly added, "I mean, I always _forget _to lock the door."

"You should really be more careful," Luke scolded. "This may not be the big city, but small towns aren't as safe as they used to be. Unlocked doors are the first things burglars look for."

"I know," Lorelai said, attempting to sound contrite but unable to mask the happiness in her voice that Luke was standing before her, chastizing her for not locking her doors. She did not even ask how someone would go about _looking _for a locked door. Suddenly her curiosity flared up. "Where were you before? Oh, did you go to the hospital to see April? How's she doing?"

"I haven't gone back to the hospital yet," he said, glancing down at the floor, and then back up at her. "When I woke up, I called Anna. She said there hasn't been much change. April's still going in and out of consciousness, but they might try giving her some tests to chech her mental reactions tonight or tomorrow. After I talked to her, I ran over to the diner to take a shower and change clothes. But I wanted to come back by here before I drove in again..."

"Oh." She was glad he had returned, although her heart ached for the continuing worry that seemed to have taken up residence in his eyes. Now that it looked as though April's life was no longer in immediate danger, the real question was whether the accident had left her with brain damage. Lorelai knew that nothing could change the way a parent felt about their child, especially for Luke, who had just found his daughter, but the thought of such a smart, kind girl losing any of her potential was heartbreaking. "Did you... do you want me to go with you?" she asked.

Luke paused, trying to read the reluctance in her voice. "Oh, well, you don't have to if you don't want to. I'm sure you have things to do at the Inn..."

"I'll go if you want me to," Lorelai backtracked. "I just didn't know if you wanted me there."

"Why wouldn't I want you there?" He sounded genuinely confused.

Despite their earlier conversation in the kitchen, Lorelai was still not sure about her standing with regard to April and Anna. She wanted to be a part in Luke's life in every way possible. But at the same time, she knew it would take him a while to get used to including Lorelai in his newly-found parenthood. Lorelai did not mind giving him the time he needed, as long as she felt like they were making progress, that they were moving forward. She thought that his allowing her to stay at the hospital with him was a very a good step in the right direction. But the last thing she wanted was to push him too fast or crowd his relationship with his daughter. And she certainly did not want to anger Anna by blatantly disregarding her instruction to stay away from April, at least not during this time of crisis.

"Well... with everything that's happened, and Anna... I didn't want to make things more awkward for you. Or butt into anything-"

"Lorelai," he stopped her explanation. "I want you there. I always want you with me. I couldn't have gotten through yesterday without you."

Lorelai smiled at the warmth of his response. "Give me a few minutes to change," she said, leaning forward to give him a quick kiss before heading back upstairs. It surprised her how easily they could fall back into their old routine.

"I'll make you some coffee," Luke offered.

"You're the best," she told him.

* * *

When they arrived on the third floor of the hospital, Luke led Lorelai straight to April's room, without stopping at the waiting room she had camped out in that morning. Luke carried a vase of flowers with three balloons tied around the base. They had stopped in the hospital gift shop at Lorelai's insistence, and she suggested to him that bringing his daughter flowers might be nice. However, the balloons (two said "Get Well Soon" and one was simply a yellow smilie face) were entirely Luke's idea. He had stopped short of buying the blue teddy-bear that sang "Singing in the Rain" when someone pushed on its tummy, figuring April was too old for stuffed animals. Lorelai suggested that he could always bring it for her later.

As Luke stuck his head into the room, he noticed Anna in her customary seat by the bed. And for once, April was awake and talking. She was not quite her usual energetic self, but she sounded much better.

"Hey, look who's up," he said as he entered.

"Hi Luke," April greeted him, her eyes lighting up as she took the gifts he had brought. "You got me balloons," she said, squinting to see what was written on them.

"Oh yeah," Luke said nervously, placing the flower vase on the windowsill behind Anna's seat. When he realized that she did not have her glasses, he added, "They just say 'Get Well Soon.'"

"Thanks, they're nice."

"You're lucky he didn't bring you the entire gift shop," Lorelai said, casually drawing attention to herself.

"Lorelai!" the girl exclaimed, sitting up slightly to better see her other visitor standing just inside the door.

"Hey kiddo," Lorelai said, giving a little waive but not coming any closer. She glanced quickly at Anna before looking to Luke, not sure how to proceed. Should she leave? Should she stay? April at least appeared happy to see her. And more importantly, she was awake and alert. "How're you feeling today?"

"Okay. I'm really tired," she yawned.

"Have the doctors said anything new?" Luke asked Anna, who's gaze was firmly fastened on Lorelai.

"No, nothing new. Luke, could I speak to you for a minute?" she said coldly, standing up and gesturing to the hallway outside. As he followed her out, Luke looked at Lorelai, who simply gave an unknowing frown and shrugged. Luke rolled his eyes in silent responsebefore leaving her alone in the room with April. Lorelai knew that she was the subject of whatever Anna had to say to Luke and was about to follow them in hopes of heading off the inevitable confrontation when April's voice caught her attention.

"My mom's a little over protective," she advised Lorelai knowingly. She obviously understood the significance of the whole 'hallway conversation' between her parents and its relation to her father's fiance.

"She's just worried about you. That's what mothers do." Lorelai smiled, wanting to reassure her. The last thing April needed right now was to be trapped at the center of an ugly family drama.

"She told me she didn't want you hanging around me because you and Luke might break up," the girl said sleepily, battling to stay awake. "But that's just stupid. Besides, you and Luke are engaged."

Lorelai sighed. While she agreed with April, this issue was not one that ought to be preoccupying her. She needed to focus on recovering, on school and friends and boys. Not on the awkward issues facing her parents.

"Your mom's just doing what she thinks is best for you. That's what we all want," she said earnestly. "This isn't something you should worry about. You just concentrate on getting better."

At that moment, Lorelai heard Luke's raised voice as it carried down the hallway. He sounded angry, and she thought she heard the words "my daughter too" and "fiance," followed by Anna's equally enraged voice and the phrase "legal custody."

"I'm going to step out for just a minute," she advised April. "Is there anything you need while I'm out? Water? Reading material?"

"Keep my mom from killing Luke?" the girl asked jokingly.

"I'll see what I can do," Lorelai assured her. April smiled tiredly in return before she let her eyes droop closed.


	8. The Anger

**Chapter 8: The Anger**

Luke was more enraged than he had been in years. Surprisingly enough, he was more angry than he had been when Lorelai told him about Christopher, or when he discovered Nicole's Sock Man, or when Rachel left him the first of many times. It was as though all the times women had thoughtlessly hurt him in the past had suddenly hit him full force, like a ton of bricks. In a dump truck. Going 80 miles an hour. And coupled with the recent stress over April's accident, the emotions flowed out like a river. Unfortunately, the predominant emotion at that particular moment was anger.

He and Anna were arguing over Lorelai and whether she should be allowed to see April. It was a ridiculous thing to fight over, especially right then, but everything was blown out of proportion by lingering fear over April's well being and Luke's troubles with Lorelai. And each felt strongly enough about the issue to stand his or her ground, unwilling to compromise or see things from the other's point of view.

"I don't want her to get hurt if you and that woman don't work out," seemed to be Anna's main argument.

"'That woman' is my _fiance_. We're getting _married_. Why shouldn't April spend time with her? Lorelai's going to be her step-mother!" was the gist of Luke's rebuttal.

But somehow, what should have been a perfectly logical, rational discussion morphed into a shouting match of who was thinking of April's best interest and who was being selfish and petty. "She's my daughter," and "She's my daughter, _too,_" went back and forth several times, ending with a few rounds of "She barely knows you!" and "Who's fault is that?"

Ultimately, Anna played the "Well I'm her mother, and what I say goes," card, prompting Luke to retaliate with, "Well I'm her father, and in the state of Connecticut that carries just as much weight!"

Luke was about to say the one thing he never thought would pass his lips ("You'll be hearing from my lawyer!") when Lorelai entered the half-open door of the waiting room, immediately causing both parties to fall silent. It suddenly occured to Luke that the entire hospital wing must have heard the fight, including their daughter.

"Hey, guys, I hate to break this up but I think April wants one or both of you to sit with her for a while," Lorelai announced, trying to sound as light-hearted as possible. Anna shot her a dirty look - similar to the seething glare cast in Luke's direction - and left the room without saying anything more.

Luke let out the breath he did not realize he had been holding. Looking down, he noticed that he had balled his hands into fists, turning the knuckles almost white with the effort. He forced himself to relax, to bring himself under control. Lorelai watched him in concern but made no move toward him. Luke did not blame her reluctance.

"You okay?" she asked finally. He nodded slightly but continued to focus his attention on bringing his anger under control. When Luke did not say anything, Lorelai mentioned quietly, "You know, she's just worried about April-"

His head snapped up like he'd been stung. "I don't need you defending her!"

"I'm not! I'm just saying-"

"You were the one who said you wanted to see April!" Luke thundered, his anger boiling up once again. "Did you change your mind suddenly?"

Sensing that he felt attacked, Lorelai attempted to placate him. "Luke, no, that's not it at all. I just think maybe you should-"

"I'm sick of everyone telling me what I should do! She's my daughter, too. I have a right to see her, to spend time with her. To have her in my life. And if I want to introduce her to you or Rory or Jess or my sister or even TJ, then that's my perogative!" Lorelai stood back and allowed Luke to shout, realizing his anger was not directed at her. It was a classic Luke-rant. He had been holding so much in for so long, and after the fight with Anna, he simply could not repress it any more.

Luke continued, "She has a lot of nerve acting like I'm the irresponsible one for letting April get attached to people. I guess its better to just hide her away from everyone! Hell, she hid her from me for twelve years! Because she thought I'd be this terrible father who doesn't know anything about raising kids. Well maybe I would have been, but I didn't get much chance to try, now did I? And now I'm trying to make up for all the time I lost. I know I'm not exactly 'Super Dad.' I don't have a lot of experience with this and I've made some mistakes. But I'm doing the best I can. I'm doing the best I can, and I'm trying to fix my mistakes and just keep everything from falling apart."

Somewhere in his tirade, Luke's anger had turned to frustration, and then the frustration to sadness. Lorelai noticed that he had begun to tremble, and the violence of it frightened her. The look on his face verged on defeat.

Within a second, she was in front of him, her arms finding their way around his body. She allowed her cheek to rest against his as she stroked the back of his neck with one hand, careful not to disturb his baseball cap. While he remained stiff at first, resisting the comfort she offered, he soon relaxed against her as he began to regain control over his emotions. His arms circled her back, bringing her even closer.

"I could have lost her, Lorelai," Luke whispered, his voice hoarse with emotion. He refused to let her see him cry.

"I know." Lorelai understood perfectly well the fear of losing a child.

"I barely know her. I've missed so much of her life already, and I could have lost her."

Her heart ached for him, for the pain Anna had inflicted by keeping his daughter from him for so long. For the anger he had held inside since finding out. Lorelai felt a flash of renewed guilt over having hurt him herself, for adding more stress and unhappiness to his life. He deserved so much better. In that moment, she wished more than anything that she could take his pain away.

"Luke, she's here. She's okay," Lorelai said reassuringly. "You didn't lose her. She's just down the hall and she's going to be fine." She felt him nod against her. It occured to her that the fear of losing April extended beyond simply the accident. Pulling away from him so that he could see into her eyes, she said, "Luke, I don't want to cause problems for you with April. I know I said I want to be included in this part of your life, and _I do_, but... I don't want to be the reason Anna makes it harder for you to see your daughter. Maybe it would be better if I just stayed away for a while. At least until Anna gets more comfortable with me being around."

As she said the words, it occured to her that she was offering to give him exactly what he had asked of her before: time alone with April. Away from her, away from their life together. It was that separation which had driven her to doubt him and their relationship. To the elopement ultimatum. And ultimately, to Christopher's bed. After so many months of being cut off from Luke's life, the possibility of going back to that arrangement made her shudder. But when it came down to it, Lorelai could not make him choose between her and his kid. That was not a real choice, and even if it was, it would be cruel beyond all measure to foist it upon him.

"You're not going anywhere," Luke stated with finality, holding her tighter, as though to emphasize his point. "You and I are getting married, and Anna's just going to have to deal with that. Either way, she's not going to keep me from April. She did that for twelve years, and I'm not going to let it happen again."

"Luke... you know, I agree that what Anna did, not telling you about April, that was wrong. That was unforgivable, inexcusable," she said. "But maybe that's not what she's trying to do now. Maybe she just feels a little... threatened?"

"Threatened? By what?"

"By you and your relationship with April. I mean, _she _sought _you _out, right? April found you. That must have been a little surprising for Anna. And maybe she's threatened by me, I don't know, Luke. I know when Sherry wanted to spend time with Rory, to get to know her, I was pretty jealous. I let Rory go and afterward we made fun of Sherry behind her back, but I was jealous. Maybe Anna's just going through the same thing."

"Yeah, maybe..." Luke conceded with a great deal of effort. Reluctantly, he pulled away from her, although he held onto her hand, not willing to relinquish her touch completely.

"And Luke? For what its worth, I think you're a great father. There was never any doubt in my mind that you would be." Luke did not say anything in response, but she could tell that he was pleased by her compliment.

"So... April looked good," he ventured.

"She did," Lorelai agreed. "And she really liked the flowers and balloons you got her." She winked at him, prompting an involuntary smile in return.

"I guess I have to go back in there and smooth things over with Anna."

"Might not be a bad idea." Luke sighed heavily at the prospect of dealing with Anna. But he knew it had to be done. Like dental visits or tax audits.

Giving her a quick kiss goodbye, he warned, "If I end up in jail again, I'm telling the judge it was your fault."

"Well, if you need me to bail you out, call me on my cell," she advised. "I'm going to over to the inn and then home to check on Paul Anka. I'll swing back by in a few hours to make sure you're doing all right."

"Okay," he said.

He was half-way out the door when Lorelai added, "And Luke? Please call me if you need anything."

Luke nodded, his blue eyes sparkling in the harsh flourescent hospital light. "You bet."


	9. The Upset

**Author's Note: **As always, thank you to everyone who's been reading this story, and special thanks to everyone who's been kind enough to review.

**Chapter 9: The Upset**

Luke approached April's room cautiously. After such a heated fight with Anna, the last thing he wanted to do was confront her again, especially in front of their daughter. But he had even less desire to leave their fight unresolved, like a wound left to fester. Besides, he was not going to avoid April while she was in the hospital just because of an argument with Anna. Mustering his resolve to keep his anger in check, he slipped into the room.

He immediately noticed that April had fallen back asleep. Anna was in her usual seat by the girl's bed, reading a book to herself. As Luke stepped closer he saw that it was a children's book.

Anna looked up at him, but rather thanirritatedby his presence, she simply looked tired. "She's out like a light," she informed him quietly, glancing at April. Luke nodded as he sat down beside her.

"The doctor said that's normal," he ventured. She said nothing in return, but continued to look at the book in her hand. "What've you got there?" Luke asked.

"'Harold and the Purple Crayon,'" Anna said, closing it and showing him the cover. She looked again at April, who was still sleeping soundly. "It was her favorite book growing up. Still is. Purple is even her favorite color because she loves this book so much."

Luke nodded as he said, "I think I heard her say something about that."

"I was reading it to her and she fell asleep," she explained.

They sat in silence for several minutes, neither wanting to be the first to broach the subject they had just fought over. Luke contented himself with watching April sleep. He took comfort in her breathing patterns, so rhythmic and constant. Before long he found himself wondering what it would have been like to watch her sleep when she was a baby. Or a toddler. And once again, his mind returned to the immutable fact that he would never get to have those moments. They were lost forever, stolen from him by the woman sitting right next to him. It should have made him angry again, but looking at his daughter in the hospital bed, he could no longersummon the will to be mad.

He was about to apologize for his part in the earlier shouting match when there was a light knock on the door, soft enough to draw attention but not so loud as to wake April. The door slowly opened to reveal a new visitor: Rory.

"Hey," she whispered, waiving as she spotted Luke by the hospital bed. He immediately jumped up and walked over to give her a hug.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, sounding both surprised and pleased at her presence.

"Mom told me about April, and I was in the neighborhood, so I thought I'd drop by and see how you were doing," Rory explained. Looking over, she saw Anna and smiled. Luke followed her gaze and realized they had never met before.

"Anna, this is Rory - Lorelai's daughter. Rory, this is April's mom, Anna Nardini." An odd expression flashed across Anna's face, closely followed by a slight blush in Rory's cheeks. "Am I missing something?" he questioned.

"We've sort of met already," Rory explained as she did her best to hide her embarrassment with the 100 gigawatt Gilmore smile she had obviously inherited from her mother.

"At my shop," Anna filled in as the realization dawned on her. "That's why you were there. You were checking me out."

Luke's head swung back to stare at Rory in shock. "When was this?" he demanded.

Rory shifted uncomfortably. "A while ago. Mom told me about April and I was curious." Noticing Anna's look of suspicion, she hastily added, "Mom didn't have anything to do with it. Actually, she told me not to go, but I went anyway..."

"Rory, its okay," Luke assured her, not wanting to delve into that particular issue again. "We can talk about it later. I'm just glad to see you." And he was. Luke was surprised at how touched he was that she had come to the hospital. She had only met April that one time in Philadelphia, and yet she had driven out of her way to visit her future step-sister in the hospital.

Just then, Luke felt something strange. At first he thought the sickness and diseases present in the hospital atmosphere had finally gotten to him and he was suffering some sort of heart attack or stroke. And then he realized the sensation was coming from his shirt pocket.

"Luke, I think you're vibrating," Rory advised him, not even bothering to hide her amusement.

He quickly fished in his pocket for the offending cell phone, grumbling to himself about Lorelai "always changing the damn thing on me..." However, when he noticed the caller's number lit up on the screen, he grew serious. "I really need to take this," he told both women before quickly exiting the room.

Rory smiled at Anna. "You have no idea how weird it is to see him with a cell phone," she commented lightly.

"Oh, I know. Pretty hypocritical considering his 'no phone rule' in the diner," Anna replied, although her voice was not unkind. Giving Rory a quick once-over, she stated, "So you're Lorelai's daughter."

"In the flesh."

"You look old enough to be in college."

"I am in college," Rory volunteered. "I'm about to start my last year at Yale."

"Yale, really?" Anna said, although her surprise also seemed to extend to the "last year" portion. "That must be quite a challenge."

"Yeah, but I enjoy it."

Conversation momentarily exhausted, Rory was about to ask after April when Anna remarked, "So, your mother must have had you when she was pretty young..."

Rory was used to hearing such comments, having grown up with them all her life. They did not bother or offend her. She was proud of her mother and the life she had built for them. "Yep. She got pregnant when she was sixteen. And then I came along nine months later. She moved out of her parents' house and basically raised me by herself."

"Really?" the older woman commented, and for once, Rory felt as though she actually heard a note of approval in a response to her mother's 'pregnant at sixteen' story. "That must have been very difficult for her."

"Yeah, it was. She started out as a maid then worked all the way up to managing the inn. That was the Independence Inn in Star's Hollow, which burned down a couple of years ago. Now she owns the Dragonfly. But my dad wasn't around much when I was growing up, so it was mostly just her and me. Well, and Mia and Sookie at the Inn. And everyone else in town. Oh, and Luke," she added in a sort of bemused realization. "I guess after we moved out of the Inn, he was always around to help out. Fixing things. Looking out for us. And he made sure we didn't starve. In a lot of ways he was like a father-figure to me, even before he and my mom started dating."

"That's funny," Anna said, looking towards the door through which Luke had left. "I honestly never pictured Luke as the 'fatherly' type."

"Oh, well he definitely had a tough time with it when Jess moved in with him."

"Jess?"

"Yeah, his nephew. A few years ago, when Jess got into some trouble back home his mom sent him to live with Luke, to straighten him out."

"Did it work?" Anna asked,genuinelycurious.

"Partially." Not inclined to go into further detail about Jess's time in Star's Hollow, she left it at that. "Jess's actually a published author now. He's in Philadelphia working at a bookstore. April's seen it, actually."

Anna nodded a bit. "I remember her telling me about a book store."

They stood in silence again for several moments, each glancing at the door, waiting for Luke to return. Finally, Rory started the conversation again, remarking, "So, my mom tells me that April's doing really well, that she's been awake today."

"Yeah, well she's been asleep most of the day. She wakes up for short periods, but the pain medication makes her pretty tired."

"But it sounds like she's going to be okay," Rory said hopefully.

Anna smiled, cautiously agreeing, "It looks that way."

The attention of both women was quickly drawn to Luke as he walked back through the door, no longer on the cell phone. He quickly looked over at his sleeping daughter, as if to reassure himself that she was still there, still okay, still breathing. When he turned his eyes to Rory and Anna, they were watching him intently. Anna raised her eyes in a question, sensing that he had something to say.

"I just got a call from the police," he announced. "They found the guy who hit April."

* * *

Lorelai was running late.

Her quick check in at the Inn had turned into a long, drawn-out fiasco involving a vegan couple from the city who insisted on a meatless, eggless, milkless, meal; a small fire in the kitchen that left Sookie with one less eyebrow to pluck; and Michel... being Michel. As well, one of the maids had quit, and with the other out sick with the flu, Lorelai was forced to don her old hat and turn down a few beds before leaving. By the time she was on her way home to check on Paul Anka before heading back to the hospital, she was exhausted. And she was going to be a full hour later than she had informed Luke when she had talked to him on the phone earlier.

He had sounded distracted during their brief conversation, as though he wanted to tell heraboutsomething but was waiting to talk to her in person. Their call had been brief - he told her April was doing okay and to pick him up at the hospital when she got done with work. The fact that he ended the call with an unprompted, "Love you," eased her paranoia that whatever was bothering him involved her. Despite their reconciliation, she still felt as though she could lose him at any moment, that she would suddenly wake up from whatever dream she was in and find herself alone again. But things seemed to be going really well.

Pulling into her driveway, Lorelai felt a stab of deja vu. There was a car parked in front of her house and a figure sitting on the front porch. But instead of Luke's truck and his familiar flannel-clad self, she realized that it was Christopher's car and Christopher himself waiting for her. She suddenly regretting not having returned the messages he had left her the day before.

Warily getting out of her Jeep, Lorelai sighed, wishing she could avoid the confrontation that was about to occur. No such luck.

"Lorelai," he said, standing up as she approached.

"Christopher... what are you doing here?"

"You've been avoiding my calls," he gave by way of explanation.

"There's nothing more to say."

"Yes there is!" he exclaimed. "You just left the other morning. You said it was a mistake and you didn't love me, and you left. You didn't even give me a chance to talk to you."

"Christopher, there's nothing to talk about. It _was _a mistake. I _don't _love you. I'm sorry," she apologized, as sincerely as she knew how. "But I just don't love you. Not the way I love Luke."

"How can you say that?" he demanded angrily. "How can you say you love this guy when just two nights ago you were on my doorstep, in tears, telling me he doesn't want to marry you, he isn't there for you-"

"Things have changed," Lorelai said. "We've talked."

"You've talked?" Chris repeated, disbelieving. "What, you've talked and now everything's _fine_? Everything he put you through the past few months is all better now? Lorelai, you were at my door _crying_. You were hysterical for half an hour. It took you half the night just to calm down."

"Luke and I worked things out," she said again as she struggled to maintain the conviction in her voice. "Last night."

Christopher gave her a look of utter disbelief. "You worked everything out with him? What, he just suddenly had a change of heart? He decided you were worth telling things to, like the fact that he has a long-lost daughter? Or did he set a wedding date?"

"Chris, just stop," she pleaded

"Did you even tell him about you and me? You didn't, did you?"

"Actually, I did," Lorelai stated.

His eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Really? And what did Mr. Brawny Paper Towell Man say?"

"Its none of your business, Chris. I'm back with Luke. We're working things out. I'm sorry you got hurt; that wasn't my intention. But you need to leave."

Christopher simply stood before her in defiance. "Lorelai, you and I are family.We belong together and we always have. I need you. Gigi needs you."

"Chris, listen to me!" She was starting to feel nervous, having never heard him speak in so desperate a tone. "We aren't going to be together. I'm with Luke. I'm _in love _with Luke. I'm so sorry I came to you the other night. I know that was terrible of me. You're a great guy, and you're a great father. But you and I aren't meant to be, Chris. That ship sailed a long time ago."

"Its not too late," he insisted. "I know I screwed up before, but this guy - Luke - he doesn't deserve you. He screwed up too. He had another kid, just like I did, but he didn't tell you about it. At least I was honest. I told you when Sherry got pregnant."

"You left me when Sherry got pregnant."

"And what he did was so much better?"

Lorelai sighed. "Chris, it doesn't matter what he did. I forgave him. He forgave me. We're back on track now. Now, please, just go home!"

"Fine, I'll go. But I want you to know one thing before I go."

She barely had time for his comment to register before she felt him grab her by the shoulder. In one swift motion, he had both arms wrapped tightly around her and his lips pressed to hers. The kiss was aggressive and bold, his mouth plundering hers before she even had a chance to react. Christopher tried to express in that one kiss all the love and passion he felt for Lorelai, all the years of disappointments for which he wanted to make amends. If only she would give him just one more chance, he was sure he could bring her happiness.

ButLorelai was not to be pursuaded, least of all by an uninvited embrace. Within a second of realizing what had happened, she put up her hands to try and push Christopher away. But he had a firm hold on her and it took several tries to extract herself from his grip as well as her mouth from his.

Instantly, Lorelai was reminded of the night they had slept together and the terrible morning afterwards. She felt dirty and ashamed, just as she felt then. It all came back to her again as she forced him away from her, anger replacing the earlier frustration with him. But he managed to keep a grip of one of her wrists, making their resulting break apart look like the final move of a badly enacted dance.

"Christopher!" she shouted at him, her patience with the situation having evaporated when he put his lips on hers.

It was then that Lorelai heard the noise that made her blood run cold and her insides turn to jelly. A car door. Turning, she saw Luke and Rory standing in the driveway next to Rory's car, she having clearly driven him home from the hospital. Luke's face was a mask, devoid of all emotion, but his attention was entirely focused on her and Christopher.

"Luke..." she began, needing to explain what had happened, what he had obviously just witnessed.

"Don't bother, Lorelai," he said in a tone full of finality, as though he had read her mind. "I know exactly what's going on here."


	10. The Apology

**Author's Note:** I'm sorry for the cliffhanger, but I'm a firm believer in the precept that every story needs a little suspense. For the angst, I make no apologies ;-) Please review.

_

* * *

_

_"Luke..." she began, needing to explain what had happened, what he had obviously just witnessed._

_"Don't bother, Lorelai," he said in a voice full of finality. "I know exactly what's going on here."_

* * *

**Chapter 10: The Apology**

Luke strode swiftly towards her from the car, as though he wanted to run the short distance but refused to give into the urge. His presence had barely had time to register for Lorelai before he had reached her and Christopher. Luke's gaze shifted away from her face, down to her wrist, which Christopher held in a vice grip. His eyes traveled up the other man's arm to his face, which betrayed both Christopher's surprise and fear.

Luke punched him.

The motion surprised everyone, including Christopher, who fell to the ground heavily, letting go of Lorelai's arm in the process.

"Luke!" Lorelai shout in horror, and she heard Rory yelling as she ran over from her car. She had never seen Luke incited to violence. Rants, yes, but never had she seen him hit someone before. Not that she blamed him...

Luke massaged his hand lightly and stared at Christopher on the ground, an expression of utter disgust gracing his features. Christopher, for his part, could barely contain his shock over the sudden shift in the situation. But it only took him a minute to catch up and submit to the only reaction a man in his situation could be expected to have: he picked himself up off the ground and flung himself at Luke. The two men soon ended up in an awkward wrestling-match style fight, each trying to hit the other but neither being fully able to do so.

"Chris, Luke, stop!"

"Dad!" Rory shouted, hoping her voice would break through to her father.

But Luke and Christopher paid no attention to the two women attempting to end their fight. Unlike so many choreographed and movie-scripted brawls, this one was clumsy and savage, the only object being to hurt the other person as much as possible. Years of mutual dislike, disapproval, and jealousy discovered the satisfying outlet of physical conflict, and they soon found themselves on the ground, each vying for the upper hand.

"Christopher, stop this right now!" Lorelai shouted at him, but her plea was ignored. At that moment, he managed to separate himself enough from the scuffle to land a particularly hard hit against Luke, causing the edge of his mouth to bleed. The sight of this sent Lorelai into a fresh panic as she grabbed Rory by the arm. "You have to help me break this up," she said to her desperately. She could not bear to see these two men fighting over her on her front lawn. Neither deserved to be put in such a situation, and yet, there they were.

"I'm not getting in the middle of that," Rory said immediately, looking at her mother as though she were crazy.

"Fine, I'll do it myself. This has to stop," she declared. Hesitantly, she approached Luke and Christopher, not sure how to go about breaking up a fight, especially one where both participants were so engaged that they had tuned everything else out, including her. "Luke, stop! Christopher!"

If either man heard her, they gave no indication of it, focusing too much on getting in punch, a kick, or even a well-placed knee or elbow. When she Lorelai saw Luke deliver a particularly painful blow to Christopher's stomach, she knew that the fight had to stop. Soon one would truly hurt the other, and she did not want them to face the repercussions of those actions, especially since she was to blame for the current conflict.

Without further pause or uncertainty, she interjected herself between the two men, grabbing hold of a random set of arms and yanking.

"Lorelai, get out of the way!" Luke growled.

"Both of you, stop it right now!" Another brief struggle ensued where both men managed to get to their feet and Lorelai insinuated herself between them. Upright again, Luke stood back slightly from a still aggressive Christopher, whom Lorelai stood in front of and put her arms out to block. Unfortunately, this caused Luke's protective side to make an appearance, and he moved to extract his fiance from the other man's reach.

"What in hell's goin' on here, suga'?"

All four turned at hearing the new voice: Babette, with Morey by her side.

"Nothing Babette, don't worry about it," Lorelai said, relaxing as Christopher was momentarily distracted from launching himself back at Luke.

"I think you two need to cool off," Morey suggested, his tall figure suddenly imposing and authoritative.

Sensing the new arrivals were reinforcements, Christopher backed away, looking first at Lorelai, then at Luke, and finally at Rory. Perhaps the presence of his daughter helped to dissipate his anger, or perhaps it was that five people were now watching him warily, like he was a time bomb about to explode. Finally, he allowed his rage at Luke to fade into a disappointment.

"He hit me," he told Lorelai, pointing at Luke. "I can't believe you would go back to this guy, that you would let him around _our daughter_. He's a maniac, Lor."

"Christopher, you need to leave," she repeated, fighting to keep her voice calm and even. "Now."

"But Lor-"

"I said _leave_, Christopher!" As if to emphasize back her up, Luke took a threatening step forward. Seeing the movement out of the corner of her eye, Lorelai put an arm out as though to restrain him, but he moved no further.

Chris stood for a long moment just staring at them. Slowly, his swept his gaze from Lorelai to Rory, his eyes a picture of betrayal.

"So you're against me too, huh?" he said accusingly.

"Just go, Dad," Rory said softly.

He sighed heavily, the weight of defeat bowing his shoulders. But as he turned to walk away, he addressed Lorelai. "Fine, I'll go. But I think its pretty unfair of you to make me into the bad guy in all this. _You _came to _me_, Lor. No matter what you say about belonging with this guy, that's always going to be true. He hurt you. He pushed you away. I was there for you when you needed me. Where was he?"

Lorelai could see Luke tense at the words, and she let her outstretched arm make contact with him, the light touch a physical plea not to react. When she did not answer him, Christopher simply shot one more withering look at his daughter before he getting into his car and driving away.

"Jeez doll, is it a full moon or somethin'?" Babette asked, once he was gone. "Everytime I look out my window you're yellin' at somebody in your front yard."

"I'm sorry, Babette," Lorelai said, genuinely apologetic at having disturbed her neighbor. "There shouldn't be any more of that."

"Oh, I don't mind, hon. You do what you gotta do." Taking Morey's arm, she started back towards her house, throwing a casual "good night!" behind her, then loudly whispering to Morey, "Hurry up, I gotta call Patty 'fore she goes to bed!"

After Babette left, Rory stood nervously, not sure what to say. It was clear that Luke was still angry, as he stood ram-rod straight and would not bring himself to look at Lorelai directly. And her mother seemed equally upset, trying desperately to catch his eye with little success.

"I think I'll go see if Lane's home," Rory said. "I haven't seen her in a while. Call me if you... need anything." Lorelai gave her a grateful smile as she made a hasty exit towards town.

"Luke..." Lorelai began, not sure what to say. What could she say? 'Sorry the guy I cheated on you with came over here, kissed me, then got in a fight with you?' Part of her was not even sure what she had done that required an apology. After all, Christopher sought her out. He had been the one who refused to leave, no matter how many times she told him to go. Christopher had kissed _her_, not the other way around. And she had pushed _him _away. Luke must have seen that. And it was Luke who had thrown the first punch and started the fight.

"I'm going inside," he said, his voice betraying nothing about his state of mind.

Lorelai followed him, shutting the door behind them and turning on the lights as they entered the house. Instead of going into the kitchen, Luke settled himself on the couch and stared blankly at the space in front of him. Paul Anka looked up briefly from the stairs, but seeing that neither person was carrying food, he laid his head back down in disappointment.

Lorelai noticed that the cut at the side of Luke's mouth was still bleeding slightly, so she went into the kitchen to get a wet towel. But when she brought it back to him, he still refused to look at her or take it from her outstretched hand. Intent on making sure the blood was at least cleaned up, she sat down beside him and nervously moved to dab atit herself.

But as she reached towards him, he grabbed her wrist tightly, holding it away from him. Unknowingly, he had gripped the arm Christopher had latched onto earlier. She let out an involuntary gasp at the firm contact with the already sore area. The sound promptly earned Luke's attention as he looked at her in concern. Realizing that he was hurting her, he let go immediately, and she drew back the offending hand. He reverted his eyes to the empty coffee table.

Neither said anything for several moments.

Just as the silence was about to threaten Lorelai's sanity, Luke spoke up. "I don't want you to see him anymore."

She knew it was a request rather than a demand, but it still made her angry.

"I hadn't planned to," she said in annoyance. "He just showed up."

"Why?"

"Probably because I haven't returned any of the messages that he's left on my cell phone the last two days. Hell, I haven't even listened to them, Luke. There's nothing between us. I told you that already."

This time, he looked at her as he said, "That's not what he seems to think."

"Well, that's the way it is, and that's what I told him. Two days ago, I told him it was a mistake, that it didn't mean anything. I told him that I love you and you're the one I want," she defended.

"He kissed you," Luke pointed out.

"Yes, he kissed me. Because he was desperate. He wants me. Goodness knows why, but he wants me, and he kissed me. I didn't kiss him - _he _kissed _me_. And I immediately pushed him away, Luke." The growing hysteria in her voice caused Paul Anka to stand up and nervously approach her. Walking to the other side of the couch, he sat beside Lorelai, looking anxiously back and forth between her and Luke.

As she waited for him to reply, she reached a hand down to pet her dog, trying to reassure him with her touch that everything was all right, even though they both knew it was not. The icy anger continued to radiate off of Luke in waves, and Lorelai wished she knew what he was thinking. After several more moments of quiet, she decided to take a different tack.

"Luke, I'm sorry you're upset and I'm sorry you got hurt. Its my fault that Christopher came back into our lives. I know that. But please believe me, he's gone. I'm done with him, not even friends-"

"You said that before," he interrupted, "over a year ago. The first time we broke up. And he came back. There's no getting rid of him! And yes, it is your fault he's back in our lives." His last comment lashed into her with all the pent-up anger he had accumulated in the last hour.

"Just like its your fault _Anna _will always be in our lives," she retaliated, speaking before thinking. The words cut through him like a knife, instantly changing his expression from anger to hurt. Seeing Luke's face, she regretted bringing up Anna, and by extension April. As he stood up from the couch and headed towards the front door, she tried to back-track. "Luke, I'm sorry..."

"Would you stop apologizing!" he shouted, whirling around, his raised voice causing Paul Anka to cower and back away from the couch.

Lorelai was immediately on her feet, and she matched his shout with her own. "Then what am I supposed to do! You won't listen to me! I've said I'm sorry. I've said it over and over again. I can't take back what I did. I thought you had forgiven me, but clearly you haven't." Her tone changed from angry to resigned. "I can't erase what happened with Christopher, and I can't keep him from ambushing me at my own house. So tell me what I'm supposed to do to make this better! Whatever you want me to do, I'll do it. But you have to tell me, Luke, because I don't know."

"I don't know either!" he admitted, the confusion and frustration of their situation evident in his face. "I just don't know." Luke sighed heavily, and for the first time noticed the frightened dog watching him from behind the coffee table. "I have to get out of here," he declared, turning to walk out of the house. Lorelai followed him as far as the front porch.

"You should put something on that cut or it'll get infected," she called after him softly. Luke did not turn around as he walked away, but he threw a hand up to acknowledge that he heard her.

As he disappeared into the night, Lorelai felt like crying, but the tears would not come. She wanted to scream at the universe for ruining things just when they had started to work out again. She also wanted to scream at Christopher for his part in it, and Luke for not trusting her. But ultimately, she just went back into her house, curled up on the couch, and cuddled a very distressed Paul Anka.


	11. The Absolution

**Chapter 11: The Absolution**

When Rory arrived back home, it was close to midnight, but the lights in the house were still on. The front door was unlocked, which was not unusual, but the eerie quiet that greeted her was. Usually if her mother was awake, she would be watching television. Or she would have called out a greeting to Rory when she heard the door open. She wondered if perhaps her mother had forgotten to turn the lights off before falling asleep.

A quick survey of the first floor revealed that Lorelai had indeed fallen asleep on the couch with Paul Anka. Although she crept quietly towards the kitchen so as not to disturb them, the dog must have heard Rory because he woke up and immediately barked a warning before scrambling off the couch and hiding behind the coffee table.

"Paul Anka, its just me!" Rory whispered, hoping not to awaken her mother. But it was already too late, as Lorelai sat up in response to the pitifully frightened bark.

"Rory," she said, seeing that it was her daughter who had scared Paul Anka. "What are you doing here?" she asked, rubbing at her eyes and then glancing at her watch.

"I thought I'd come see how you were doing," Rory said. "I was here earlier..."

Lorelai sighed heavily as she remembered what 'earlier' had entailed. "Oh, right. How's Lane? Were you able to catch up?"

"Lane's fine. Mom, where's Luke? What happened with you guys? After Dad left, I thought you two were going to talk."

"We did talk," she said.

Rory waited for more, but when none was forthcoming, she prompted, "And?"

"And he left."

"Well what did you guys talk about?"

Lorelai sighed. "Rory, do we really have to get into this now?"

"Yes, we do," her daughter insisted, sitting on the couch next to her mother. "I want to know why you and Luke were doing fine when you called me earlier today and now you're sleeping alone on the couch with Paul Anka."

"Its complicated."

"Well un-complicate it!"

"Look Rory, what do you want me to say? I screwed up, and Luke can't forgive me. He thought he could, but then he saw Christopher kiss me, and we're back at square one," Lorelai said. And suddenly, the dam that was doing such a good job holding back her tears broke. As she began to cry, Rory went to her, wrapping her arms tightly around her mother. They sat together for several moments as Rory simply let her cry.

Finally, as Lorelai's tears started to ebb, she pulled back from her daughter and wiped at her cheeks. "I can't believe I'm crying again," she remarked in disgust. "I'm going to get dehydrated soon."

"Mom, its going to be okay," Rory assured her, ignoring the half-hearted joke.

"I know, I know," she said, although she did not really believe that it would. But her daughter was worried about her, and if nothing else, she knew how to put on a brave face for Rory. "So how was your day?" she asked, forcing a smile.

Allowing for the change in subject, Rory told her, "I went to the hospital to see April. Right after you left, apparently."

Lorelai was surprised, but she contained it well. "Oh, how is she doing? Any better?"

"When Luke and I left she had just gone to sleep again after being awake for half an hour straight. Actually, the doctors sort of kicked us out because they said we were keeping her from getting enough sleep. But she looked good," Rory said. "Very talkative."

"That's good," Lorelai said, and she was surprised at how much she meant it. As many problems as her appearance in their lives had caused, she genuinely liked April, probably because she reminded her a lot of Rory at the same age. Only more blunt and matter-of-fact. Like Luke. She pushed away thoughts of who their own children would have taken after more.

"The doctor said they don't think there was any brain damage, although she can't remember anything about the accident," Rory continued. "They're going to do an MRI tomorrow and then bring in a specialist, just to make sure." Lorelai just nodded.

Rory sighed before pressing ahead. "Mom, did Luke tell you that he got a call from the police?" This bit of news got her mother's attention, confirming that he had not yet told her. "They caught the guy that hit April."

Lorelai blinked, not sure what to make of what Rory had just said. So she said what came to mind first. "Who was it?"

Rory shrugged slightly. "Some guy from Litchfield. No one we know. The police think he had been drinking, but they can't prove it. He said he didn't even realize he'd hit someone, just thought it was an animal."

"Oh my God, that's terrible. And Luke just found out about this?" Lorelai asked.

Her daughter nodded an affirmative. "Several hours ago. He called you but I don't think he wanted to talk about it over the phone. And then you were late coming to the hospital, so when the nurse kicked us out, I told him I'd give him a ride back to the house since I was coming to visit you anyway." She paused, not sure whether to go on. Finally she added, "But then when we got here..."

Lorelai made a motion to stop with her hand, cutting Rory off. She knew how the story went from there on and had no desire to hear it retold. What bothered her was the disturbing news Luke had received about the manner in which his daughter had been hit. A drunk driver, in the middle of the day. Lorelai's mind conjured images of a middle-aged hobo lugging around a bottle in a brown paper bag, stumbling to his car and turning on the ignition. In reality, the man was probably just as ordinary as anyone else, except on that particular day he chose to drink alcohol and then get behind the wheel of a vehicle. April had almost died because of his mistake. Luke's daughter had almost been taken from him. No wonder he had reacted so violently to Christopher when he had kissed her. It was just enough to push him over the edge.

No wonder he had acted so angry and unforgiving. Lorelai remembered again how she had felt after Rory's car accident. She had taken out her fear and frustration on the only person around who had even a passing connection with the situation: Luke.

"I need to find him," she said finally, getting up from the couch. "I need to find Luke."

"Do you even know where he is?" Rory asked, not sure she wanted her mother traipsing around town in the dark, especially in such an emotional state. "He could be anywhere."

"He's at the diner," Lorelai stated with a certainty she did not completely feel.

"I don't know... I didn't see the lights on when I was in town earlier."

"He's at the diner," she repeated, with just a shade more conviction. Looking down, she noted that Paul Anka had relaxed enough to fall back asleep on the floor by the couch. "Stay here and keep an eye on him, will you? He was pretty freaked out earlier when Luke and I fought."

As she headed for the door, Rory called after her, "Mom! There's something else you should know..."

Lorelai stopped and turned back. "What?"

"Luke and I were talking, on the way here from the hospital. Well, we talked a lot at the hospital too, but... Well, he told me something I think you should know. He said... well, first he said he loves you. He's always loved you, probably since the first time he met you. But, then he told me that he no matter how hard he tried, he can't _not _love you, despite everything that's happened. You're a part of him, and he's a part of you. Mom, whether you believe it or not, he's forgiven you."

"Rory..."

"Mom, he really loves you-"

"Just because he loves me doesn't mean he can forgive me," Lorelai informed her. "In fact, loving me makes it even harder to forgive, because it means I hurt him that much more. I don't think you understand how much I hurt him, Rory. And maybe Luke didn't realize himself until he saw me with Christopher tonight. He may _never _be able to forgive me completely. And if by some miracle we're able to work things out, I think that's just something we're both going to have to learn to live with."

Rory stared at her mother, amazed at the self-loathing in her voice. She knew Lorelai regretted sleeping with Christopher, that it had been a huge mistake. And after her situation with Logan, Rory felt she had a good understanding of why someone would seek physical comfort with a familiar body after an emotional breakup. But her mother seemed to feel more than just remorse for what she had done - she acted almost unworthy of forgiveness, as though it was only natural for Luke to hate her.

"Why did you do it, Mom?" she asked, genuinely wanting to know. "Why did you even go over there?"

Lorelai sighed. She had been asking herself the same question for the past two days. 'I was upset,' sounded false and inadequate, even in her own mind. 'I thought we were over,' was even less true. Had that been her only consideration, she would have simply gone home and cried herself to sleep. No, it was more than that.

"I was hurting," she whispered. Sitting back down on the couch as Rory followed suit, she let her gaze rest on Paul Anka so she would not have to look her daughter in the eye as she spoke. Somehow that made it easier. "I felt like he didn't want me to be in his life, that he didn't want to marry me. And I guess part of me wanted to feel wanted, to feel needed again. And I think deep down, part of me wanted to hurt him the way I was hurting."

"Oh Mom..."

Continuing on, Lorelai forced herself to look at her daughter. "It just felt so horrible, to be so unwanted like that, especially since I _know _that Luke loves me. Ever since we broke up before, I've known something Rory. He's the _one _for me. There's no one else. I love him." She paused, taking a deep breath. "And I was just so sad and angry that we were never going to have _it_, that perfect life together, that I... I did the one thing I knew would ruin it for good, completely. The one thing he can never forgive."

Rory made no reply to her confession. She had no idea what to say and did not want to make things worse by choosing the wrong words.

"So now you know," Lorelai said quietly. "I did it on purpose. I hurt him on purpose, and I messed everything up. That's why he can't forgive me. That's why he shouldn't forgive me."

"Mom, you're not the only one to blame for this. Luke lied to you, he shut you out and _made _you feel unwanted. You should really talk to him about all this rather than taking it all on yourself," Rory advised her, but Lorelai just shook her head.

"Luke has enough to worry about right now without having to deal with me. April's in the hospital. Anna's giving him a hard time. Hell, Rory, he got into a fistfight with Christopher tonight because of me."

"But he _loves _you."

"And I love him," she repeated. "But sometimes love just isn't enough..." Her voice trailed off in sadness. "I need to go find Luke," she repeated, once again getting up from the couch.

"Please talk to him," Rory implored.

Lorely nodded before leaning down to kiss her daughter lightly on the forhead. "Don't worry about me, hon. Everything will work out." And then she was gone, the sound of the front door shutting causing Paul Anka to wake up and wimper at the sound.

Rory desperately hoped that what her mother said was true, that everything would work out.

* * *

She found him at the diner, just as she knew she would. Letting herself into the darkened apartment upstairs, Lorelai tiptoed across the floor to where she saw Luke's outline sitting in the comfortable, oversized chair. By the dim light filtering in from outside, she could tell that he was still fully dressed. And while she could not see his eyes or necessarily hear his breathing, she knew instinctively that he was awake.

So she sat down on the coffee table in front of him, careful not to let her knees touch his. It was the same position they had been in after their fight in front of Sookie and Jackson about the phone call from Christopher. Lorelai closed her eyes at the memory. Christopher. It was always Christopher. He seemed to be in the background of whatever problems she and Luke were having. He always ruined things. But then, she always let him. It was a pattern she would have to change if she ever wanted another shot with the man in front of her.

"Rory told me that they found the guy, the one who hit April," she said quietly, not wanting to disturb Luke's solitude but knowing she had to say something. "She also told me that the police think he was drunk and that he didn't know he had hit her."

For a full minute, Luke said nothing. Then he spoke,barely above a whisper. "He knew. He knew he had hit her, and he knew he was drunk. And he knew he'd get in trouble for that, so he left. Ran away like a coward, leaving her there, on the road... bleeding..."

Lorelai could tell from his voice that he was exhausted, and she wondered exactly how much sleep he had managed to get in the past few days. Though they had gone to bed together that morning, he was gone when she woke up, and she was unsure whether he had actually slept at all.

"But they caught him," she pointed out. "He can go to jail for what he did."

"What if he doesn't? What if he does it again?" Luke asked. "What if next time its some other little girl on a bicycle who _isn't _wearing a helmet? She could have _died_, Lorelai!"

She suddenly realized something. This was not about the man from Litchfield, or even Lorelai's betrayal. It was about Luke, and the secret guilt he harbored for not having prevented this terrible accident. And perhaps for not having gone after her the night she asked him to elope. She could hear it in his voice, the anger masking self recrimination. As if he were to blame for any of it.

"Luke... you can't always protect the people you love. You can try, and I know it feels like you should, but you have to accept that you can't always be there to make sure bad things don't happen to her." Lorelai sighed, knowing this was the wrong time for a parenting lecture but figuring that he at least needed the reassurance that he had not failed his daughter. She owed him that much at least.

Not knowing what else to say, she sat silently, hoping he would confide his thoughts to her. Despite everything that had happened between them, she wanted to be there for him if he needed her, especially with regard to April. She had been a mother long enough to know that kid problems trumped relationship problems every time.

It startled her when Luke suddenly leaned forward in the chair. The movement brought his face out of the shadows, and Lorelai was able to see his eyes as they watched her intently. She also noticed that he had wiped away the blood from his mouth, but the cut was swelling and scabbed over. He also had the beginnings of a nasty black eye.

Luke very slowly reached out and took her hand in his, carefully turning it over so that it was palm-up and the underside of her wrist was exposed. The light in the diner was too dim to see the faint red mark Christopher had left on the arm, but Luke examined it thoughtfully.

"I'm sorry," he said finally, looking back up at her. She knew the apology was for more than having grabbed her bruised wrist earlier, when she tried to clean the cut by his mouth. His words held an apology for everything, for anything.

"You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for, Luke," she told him, and she meant it. They had hurt one another, but when it came to assigning blame, she knew that her side of the scale held a lot more than his did.

"Christopher was right. I wasn't there for you when you needed me, and he was. I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry for hurting you. And I'm sorry for today."

"Luke, I swear to you, there wasn't anything going on between me and Chris-" she began, but he quickly put a finger to her mouth, silencing her.

"I know," he said, looking into her eyes, rewarding her trust with his own vulnerability. "When I saw him with you, I got scared and I overreacted. I'm so afraid of losing you, Lorelai, you have no idea. And what happened before... what you did... the full force of it sort of hit me again, and didn't know what to do with that feeling."

The pain in his voice felt like a knife cutting straight into her heart. "I hate that I keep hurting you," she told him. "You deserve so much better than that." _Than me. _Until the day she died, she would never forgive herself for causing this man pain.

"We hurt each other," he reflected. "And neither of us deserve it." It was an absolution of guilt, for both of them, and Lorelai found herself clinging to it like a life preserver.

"I guess that's something we should work on," she suggested, trying to sound lighter than she felt.

Luke just nodded in response and looked back down at her hand, still gently enfolded in his. It was her left hand, and she felt him brush across her skin until he found her engagement ring, still securely on her third finger. Then he brought her hand to his lips, leaving the gentlest of kisses, first on her fingers, then to her palm, and finally at her wrist, barely making contact with the sensitive area. The gesture was symbolic rather than sensual, a reaffirmation of his dedication and affection. Luke always expressed himself better with actions than with words.

"I love you, Lorelai," he confided. "More than you will ever know."

"I think I have a pretty good idea," she said as she felt her heart constrict with emotion. She leaned in to kiss him gently, careful to avoid his injury.

"You should sleep," she told him after a moment, cognizant of his exhaustion. When he did not respond, she stood up from the coffee table, her hand still in his, and pulled him out of his chair. He followed her without hesitation to the bed, and they laid down together, fully clothed, on top of the comforter.

Luke spooned up against her and rested his arm around her waist, placing his hand on her stomach. It was the second time that day they had gone to sleep together and remembering his absence when she had awoken earlier, Lorelai gently wrapped both arms around his arm and hugged it to her, unwilling to let him escape again.

"Love you," she whispered quietly before falling asleep.

* * *

**AN**: Not quite the end, but I'm getting close. Thanks to everyone who has stuck with it this far. And once again, thanks for all the great reviews. They really make my day. 


	12. The Aftermath

**Author's Note: **I'm not sure how good I am at fluff, but I think at this juncture fluff is warranted. There's also a little more Rory in this chapter than in the others and I hope I'm not missing anything important from season 6 as to her relationship with Luke. If I am, please forgive as I'm still playing catch up. And as always, thanks for the reviews and keep 'em up!

Chapter 12: The Aftermath

The next day, Rory woke up to an empty house. There was no coffee brewing in the kitchen, no water running in the bathroom, and no Lorelai Gilmore to be found anywhere. This fact did not worry her daughter, but rather allowed Rory to hope that she had found Luke and worked things out. But just to be on the safe side, she decided to put in an appearance at the diner. Just to make sure everything was still standing.

When she arrived, she found all the usual patrons eating breakfast. Kirk, Babette, even Miss Patty. Caesar was cooking and Lane taking orders, just as though nothing were out of the ordinary. As Rory sat down at the counter, Lane immediately brought her a cup of coffee.

"So, what happened when you got home last night?" she asked, her face alight with curiosity. The evening before, Rory had filled her in on the whole 'Christopher/Luke fight,' although for the sake of her mother's reputation she had not mentioned the night spent with her father in Boston.

"Luke was gone and Mom was asleep on the couch. They had another big fight, but after I talked to her, she came over here to find Luke," Rory told her.

Lane raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Really? I wonder if they're upstairs. We haven't seen Luke all morning. I guess I just figured he was at the hospital with April."

"You think I should go check and see if they're up there?" Rory asked, biting her lip indecisively. If they were in Luke's apartment, the last thing she wanted to do was disturb them. Especially if they had made up. As close as she and her mother were and as much as Rory loved Luke, there were certain aspects of their relationship as a couple about which she was happy to remain in the dark.

"Did you try her cell phone?" Lane suggested.

"Yeah, she left it at the house."

"What about Luke's cell phone?"

"I don't think I have his number..." Rory said, frowning. "I didn't even know he had one until yesterday."

"I probably have the number around here somewhere..."

"No, forget it," she said, sliding off the stool. "I'm just going to go upstairs and poke my head in to see if they're there and if they're both still breathing."

"Okay, but you may want to knock first," Lane suggested. "Caesar went up there a few weeks ago to get change out of the safe and he almost saw Luke naked."

"Thanks for the tip," Rory said, not at all inclined to see her future step-father sans clothing.

But as she made her way past the curtain and up the stairs to the old Williams Hardware office, Rory's concern began to fade away. She heard the distinct sounds of her mother talking followed by Luke laughing at whatever she had said. When she reached the door, she knocked quietly, unsure of what scene would greet her inside.

"Come in!" she heard Luke call.

She slowly opened the door to reveal her mother sitting at the kitchen table, cheerfully fiddling with her silverware as Luke cooked them breakfast. To her great relief, both were fully dressed, Lorelai wearing the same clothing she had left in the night before.

"Rory!" her mother greeted her cheerfully.

"Hey Rory," Luke added, looking over his shoulder. She noticed that one of his eyes had a tell-tale black and blue bruise around it, but knowing the cause, she wisely chose not to comment.

"You want some breakfast?" Lorelai asked. "Luke's making eggs and pancakes and bacon-"

"I told you, no bacon," he contradicted. "Its bad for you."

"But Luke," she whined. "I always have bacon with my eggs. They're a set: bacon and eggs. How can you break up bacon and eggs? That's like trying to have peanut butter without jelly. Its just not right."

"Rory, can I make you something?" Luke asked, ignoring his fiance's food rant.

She was momentarily baffled by the cheerful morning domesticity between her mother and step-father. But after a second's pause, she asked, "Do you have coffee?"

Luke arched an eyebrow at the question, as if to say: _Do you even have to ask?_ He quickly filled her a cup and Rory sat at the table beside her mother, whom she had not seen so hyper and animated in a long time. It was as though the real Lorelai had finally returned and was reasserting herself with a vengeance.

"Luke, maybe you should turn the apartment into an extension of the diner," she suggested. "You know, just a few tables. Candlelight, mood music. Very intimate. Very romantic. Oh, you could even hire one of those strolling violinists who you think are going to be really cool, but then they just stand there watching you eat as they play, and they're actually kind of creepy."

"No strolling violinists," he vetoed.

"What about a mariachi band?" she suggested.

Luke rolled his eyes. "This isn't Al's Pancake World, its a diner. No bands of any kind."

"What about the tables and candlelight?" Lorelai pushed hopefully.

He sighed in response. "We'll see."

Lorelai grinned at her daughter, ecstatic over her success. However, Rory felt certain that her happiness extended beyond Luke's minimal concession to their overall reconciliation.

"Did you have a good night?" she asked Rory, who nodded in response. "What about Paul Anka? Did he calm down after I left?"

"Once I put on the Spongebob Squarepants DVD, he curled up on the stairs and went to sleep," she assured her mother.

"You've got him watching television now?" Luke piped up, as he set a plate of food in front of both Lorelai and Rory.

"Not television. _Spongebob_," Lorelai corrected him. "He likes the song. 'Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Spongebob Squarepants!'"

"Stop singing right now or I'm taking the food away," he warned.

Lorelai closed her mouth in a fake pout before informing him, "You're no fun."

"I'll give you extra bacon," he said in appeasement.

She immediately flashed him a broad smile, all traces of the pout having vanished. "You're forgiven!"

As Luke settled down at the table with his own breakfast - a wheat bagel with low fat cream cheese and orange juice - Rory could not help but marvel at the transformation in their relationship. Just last night she had left them standing in the front yard, barely able to look at each other. And now they were laughing and flirting just as they always had.

"So, are you going to see April today?" Rory asked, directing the question at Luke.

"Yeah, probably in a little while," he said soberly. "Anna called this morning to say she was doing good. The tests don't show any brain trauma or damage or anything. And she's recovering from the surgery really well. Hopefully in a few weeks they'll let her go home."

"That fast?" Lorelai asked, not having been privy to his earlier phone conversation with Anna.

"Well, they had to remove her spleen when she got to the hospital because of the internal bleeding, as I understand it,and the main concern since then has been the risk of infection. So beyond that, they've just been monitoring her brain functions. With that in the clear, she has the broken leg and arms, but those have been set and casted. She'll just need a wheelchair to get around for a while, but in a few months she should be good as new."

Rory was surprised to hear Luke sounding so nonchalant as he went through April's assorted injuries. Although he still seemed concerned about her, his outlook on the situation was definitely bright. Lorelai felt the same way, although she attributed it to the good night's sleep he had enjoyed. When she had awoken that morning, she had found him still firmly wrapped around her, his warm breath tickling the back of her neck. Waking up in his arms again had felt like a dream, one of those warm and fuzzy kind you pray never end.

"Besides, I have an appointment today to get a blood test," Luke added casually before taking a sip of his orange juice.

"Blood test?" Lorelai asked. "What for?" Rory just nodded, having been at the hospital the night before when he mae the arrangements.

"Paternity test," Luke filled in, which made his fiance's eyes widen even further.

"Please don't tell me you have _another _long lost-"

"Its for April," he cut her off. "Just an official test, done by the hospital. Rory suggested that I'll probably need it when I petition for joint custody."

Lorelai looked from Luke to Rory then back to Luke, her face a picture of shock. "You're going to challenge Anna for custody?" she asked him, incredulous.

"No, I don't want to take April away from her mother," Luke explained quickly. "I just want to protect my legal rights to see her and make sure I have a role in her life."

She smiled at him, happy that he was no longer letting Anna dictate the boundaries of his relationship with his daughter.

"Besides," Rory chimed in, "as it stands now, if anything happens to Anna, Luke would have to go to court to get custody of April anyway because there's no legal document showing that he's her father."

"And that's how we were able to sell it to Anna," he said to Lorelai.

"She agreed to it?"

"I didn't leave her much choice. Plus, I think she understands that I'm in April's life now and I'm not going anywhere."

"I think that's really great," she told him sincerely. She had not believed Anna would acquiesce to such a thing without a fight, but she was glad Luke had finally taken the initiative to assert himself as April's father and that it was going so well for him.

At that moment, Rory's cell phone went off, startling all three of them.

Looking at the caller ID screen, her face fell, and Lorelai knew by the expression of anger and disappointment who was calling.

"You should answer it," she advised her daughter.

But Rory simply turned off the phone and put it back in her purse. "Luke, these are some really good eggs," she complimented him as she took another bite, but even Luke had not missed the event which had just transpired.

"Rory..." her mother warned her. "None of this has anything to do with your relationship with your dad."

"Yes it does," Rory argued, finally letting her anger show. "I'm sick of pretending that what he does to you doesn't effect me, that when he hurts you - both of you - it doesn't also hurt me. Because it does! I trusted him and he let me down. He was supposed to be there for you, Mom, not take advantage of you when you were lonely and upset. He was supposed to be your _friend_, not try to get between you and Luke."

"I understand that, but no matter what, he's your father, honey. And he's paying for your school," Lorelai pointed out.

"Then I'll get Grandma and Grandpa to pay for it. I'd rather be indebted to them than to him at this point."

"Your mom's right," Luke said, his words surprising both of the Gilmore girls. "He's your father. You should talk to him."

"He isn't my father! He's the guy who showed up a handleful of times when I was growing up, only to break my mother's heart. That isn't what father's do. Fathers go to dance recitals and birthday parties and teach their kids how to ride a bike." She waved her hand at Luke as she continued, "They sit up all night at the hospital and worry like crazy. Or they make mashed potatoes when you've got the chicken pox. Or go to your graduation. Or give you their mother's pearls..."

"Rory, honey-" Lorelai stopped herself, wanting to say something but completely conflicted on what to say. She agreed with much of what her daughter had just said. Christopher had never been a very good father. And as far as being there for Rory when she needed him, Luke had fulfilled that role for her much of her life, even before he and Lorelai started dating.

However, Christopher was still her father. Lorelai knew that he loved her and knew that he wanted to maintain a presence in her life. She could not condone Rory ignoring him for her sake, especially since she felt uncomfortable shifting so much of the blame onto Christopher. She did not like being the reason that her daughter was estranged from her father.

Glancing at Luke, she said, "Rory, I've made a personal decision to leave Christopher out of my life based on mistakes he and I both have made. That doesn't mean I want you to stop seeing him or stop talking to him. And if you have issues with him, you need to work those out. He loves you, honey."

Rory frowned slightly, not entirely convinced, but she nodded slightly. "I'll think about it," she agreed, very reluctantly. "But if he tries to use me to get to you..."

"You have my permission to banish him," Lorelai said. She again looked over at Luke to gauge his reaction to their conversation, but he just gave her a reassuring smile that made her heart flutter in response.

Noticing the look, Rory quickly finished her breakfast and excused herself, wanting to give them a little more private time. She made plans to have dinner with her mother later in the week before heading back downstairs.

Not only was Lane waiting to hear what she had witnessed in Luke's apartment, but half the town seemed to have gathered in the diner to get a piece of the gossip or catch a glimpse of the couple. Babette and Miss Patty were deep on conference, probably speculating about the scene on the lawn with Christopher the night before.

"So?" Lane whispered, bursting with curiosity but wanting to protect her employer's privacy.

"She found him," Rory said as she endeavored to suppress a gleeful grin.

"And?"

She shrugged, then glanced around at the nearby customers who were doing their best to eavesdrop.

"Are they back together?" Caesar demanded, coming up behind them.

When Rory did not answer immediately, Lane said in exasperation, "At least tell us if they're both alive and they didn't kill each other."

Rory rolled her eyes. "They're both alive. I'll tell you more when we're not surrounded by the cast of Steele Magnolias."

"Oh come on, Rory," Miss Patty called, obviously having overheard her last comment. "Just tell us whether we need to keep Taylor from breaking out the ribbons again."

"He's got new ones this time," Kirk chimed in. "Much safer, at least 30 percent less chance of sticking yourself. I tested them myself."

"No ribbons!" Rory exclaimed. "Never again with the ribbons, do you hear me Kirk? If I see one ribbon anywhere in this town, I'm coming after _you_." She stuck an angry finger in his face, causing him to adopt a nervous expression and back away slowly from the counter.

"So are they going to set a date for the wedding?" Babette asked, and there was a collective murmur from the crowd of shared anticipation.

"I don't know," she said finally, throwing her hands up in the air in defeat. "I honestly don't. You'll have to ask them." Giving Lane a small wave goodbye and a promise to call her later, Rory quickly disappeared out of the diner, then took the long route home to avoid any more inquisitive townspeople.

* * *

When Luke and Lorelai finally did make an appearance in the diner, most of the patrons had already gotten bored and left, willing to let any news filter back to them through Kirk, who was left posted as a lookout at the counter even during the late-morning lull.

"Seriously Luke, you could fit at least five tables up there," Lorelai was saying as they came into the nearly-empty diner.

"I already told you I'd think about it," he grumbled back at her, although anyone listening would have known his gruffness was all show. He really enjoyed bantering with Lorelai.

"Yeah, but you said it in that 'just to shut you up' way, not in the 'that's a great idea, I'll definitely consider it' way," she said.

"Fine. 'That's a great idea, Lorelai. I'll definitely consider it.' Happy now?"

She smiled at him, and not for the first time that day her expression of easy contentment was enough to stop him in his tracks. It occured to him that he had not seen her look like that in a long time. Pushing away the guilt that accompanied the realization, he vowed to do or say something every day to make her smile at him like that, like nothing in the universe brought her more pleasure than to be with him.

"Absolutely," she answered him, slipping her arms up around his neck before leaning in to give him a gentle kiss on the edge of his mouth, careful to avoid the cut on the other side.

Luke allowed the contact, but when she pulled away slightly he looked around dramatically as though the whole town were watching. "Lorelai, everyone's watching..."

"Let 'em watch," she declared, then kissed him again. But this time, it was Luke who deepened the kiss, bringing his arms around to hold her tightly against him. He had never been one for big public displays of affection, but somehow, today, it did not matter as much. Today, he was just happy that his world had righted itself, that his fiance was communicating with him and planning for the future. After all, they both knew 'turning the apartment into an extension of the diner' was only code for 'you'll have to move in with me permanently; no more running away.'

As well, his daughter was recovering and her mother was being more cooperative. And Rory, the girl who had always felt like the daughter he never had (should have had), all but came right out and called him her father. Yes, life was definitely looking up for Luke Danes.

As their kiss continued, Kirk sat nearby, his mouth half-open as he watched the reunited couple get lost in each other and completely ignore the world around them. Caesar and Lane just exchanged delighted grins, both of them happy to work extra shifts if it meant bringing Lorelai and Luke back together.

* * *

**AN:** One more part after this, an epilogue of sorts.


	13. Epilogue: The Elopement

**Author's Note:** I know "Partings" probably took place sometime in the middle of May based on the air-date, but I'm fudging the timeline a bit for my own selfish reasons. And I know this idea has been done before by several excellent authors (not trying to steal it from anyone). I just thought it was an appropriate ending considering the rest of the story.

Since this is the last chapter, I just wanted to say thank you one final time to everyone who has read this story and to everyone who has left a review (or more than one). It seriously makes writing so much more fun to get such great feedback from people who enjoy it, or have suggestions, or even offer criticisms.

If there's enough interest, I may consider a sequel.

* * *

Epilogue: The Elopement

(Four weeks later...)

"Luke, where are we going?" she asked for the seventeenth time that afternoon.

They had been driving for at least four hours, and Lorelai's patience had long since grown thin. It was gossamer-thin, actually. The sort of thin that they used to make veils for Arabian dancing girls or Mariah Carey impersonators. If it got any thinner, she felt certain that it would vanish completely, leaving her in the unenviable position of killing the only person who seemed to know where they were headed.

"You'll see when we get there," came his standardized response, no more annoyed for having repeated it multiple times. Unlike Lorelai, his patience appeared to be infinite. That probably annoyed her more than anything.

It had been four weeks since April's accident, and all the surrounding events which preceded and followed it. April herself had gotten remarkably better, with the doctors allowing her to check out and go home the week before. With a broken leg and arm, she was given a wheel chair to keep her mobile, with specific instructions to be out of bed and moving around as much as possible. The doctor's orders seemed contrary to Luke and Lorelai's concept of recovery: bed rest and lots of it. But the doctors were afraid of blood clots and other such medical maladies that accompany sedentariness.

To her, April's release from the hospital may as well have been release from prison. Although it was summer and school was out, she immediately dived back into her independent academic studies, bemoaning the time lost in experiments. As a welcome home, Anna threw her a party and invited all her friends, as well as Luke. And while speaking with him on the phone about the party, she casually but deliberately told him to bring Lorelai. The inclusion of his fiancé surprised Luke at first, but Anna made no other mention of it beyond, "I know April would like to see her."

Lorelai was thrilled with the invitation, but made it a special point to fade into the background as much as possible. However, Anna had treated her with extreme civility the entire time. And while she doubted that she and April's mother would ever become fast friends, at least they had managed to come to some mutual understanding or compromise regarding April.

As for the Litchfield man who had hit April and left her there, Luke and Anna received a call from the county prosecutor several weeks later. Since he had no prior criminal record and would be unlikely to score prison even if everything went to trial, they were going to offer him a deal. Two years of probation during which he could not consume alcohol and would be randomly tested to ensure that restriction was met. He would also have to attend DUI school and several seminars given by the Mother's Against Drunk Driving organization that demonstrate the ramifications of choosing to drive under the influence. His license would be suspended for one year. And finally, he would be required to pay restitution for all of April's medical bills as well as some hefty court costs.

Considering the circumstances, Luke and Anna agreed to the deal. April would not have to testify at trial, sparing her that stressful ordeal, and the matter could finally be put to rest. Having talked it over with Lorelai on a number of occasions, Luke felt he had finally come to terms with the accident. It still made him nervous when April talked about being able to ride her bike again, and he was even more conscientious about driving no higher than the speed limit. But he no longer harbored fantasies about driving to Litchfield and punching the man out. Or running him over with the truck.

"If this is a romantic weekend getaway, you should have told me so I could have _packed _something," she whined, not for the first time, bringing Luke out of his revere.

Luke patiently repeated what he had told her before, "You don't need anything. Everything has been taken care of." Glancing over at her next to him, he smiled. She had slipped off her shoes and had her bare feet propped up on the dashboard of the truck. But to satisfy his sense of safety, she was wearing a seatbelt.

Despite her words, Lorelai already knew he had something planned for this weekend. June 3rd. The day they were supposed to get married. It still hurt a little that their wedding had been postponed, but at least they had finally set a date. Yes, after everything that had happened, all the hurting and fighting and hurting some more, they had finally set a date. Well, Lorelai had set the date.

Shortly after their last fight and subsequent reconciliation, Luke had handed her a small box wrapped in white paper with a pink bow around it. Arching a curious eyebrow at him, she tore away the paper to reveal the thin black box, small enough to hold only one of two things: lingerie or jewelry. Either would have satisfied Lorelai, but what was actually in the box made her heart do cartwheels: a small calendar, the book-kind carried by most grocery stores that extended for two years. On the first page, written across the existing text of 'Owner Information' had been Luke's bold script. _Pick a day. Any day. And I'll be there. -L_

She had immediately flipped a few months ahead and chose a Sunday at random. February 25th. Enough time to plan the wedding, but not too far away in time either. Despite all their talk of elopements, Lorelai knew she wanted a real wedding, one with the perfect flowers and gorgeous dress and elegant Luke in a tuxedo. Rory and April in matching bridesmaids' dresses. Her mother and father on the front pew looking proud, or at least pride in the form of relief that their only daughter was finally getting married. And she and Luke, standing under the chuppah he had built, on the lawn of the Dragonfly Inn, surrounded by their friends and family as they pledged their love to one another.

"Are you okay?" Luke asked her.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Lorelai said. She always got a little misty-eyed when thinking about the wedding. She quickly covered with, "Just wondering how much longer until we get to wherever we're going."

"Not too much longer," he pronounced, although she wondered if even he knew where he was going. He had not consulted a map their entire trip and to keep her suitably unaware of their destination, they had avoided all major highways. All Lorelai knew was that they were still somewhere in New England. And although her sense of direction fairly poor, she had a strong hunch that they were headed towards the ocean. The Atlantic Ocean specifically, Lorelai deduced, realizing that virtually any direction would eventually take you to _some _ocean.

"So you won't even give me a hint?" she goaded, hoping for at least some morsel of information to tide over her curiosity.

Luke thought long and hard for several minutes before turning to her and solemnly pronouncing... "No."

Lorelai feigned indignation. "How do you know I'll like it there. You don't know. I may hate it. And I won't have any clothes to change into."

He shrugged, then said deadpan, "Naked works fine for me."

"Oh, so you're taking me to a nude beach!" she guessed.

"Well, if we go to the beach and you're naked, I suppose it would be a nude beach," he conceded.

"So we're going to the beach?" she pressed.

"Lorelai..." The warning in his voice was clear. She had finally put a dent in his unflappable patience.

"Fine," she sighed, admitting defeat. But as she looked out the window at the trees and buildings passing by, she asked, "Can we at least stop soon? I'm getting hungry."

"How can you be hungry? We stopped for burgers just an hour ago!"

"But they weren't _your _burgers," Lorelai pointed out, pursing her lips in a fake-pout.

"And you said, I quote, 'I'm so stuffed that if I eat another bite I might explode right here.'"

She shrugged. "That was fifty miles ago. And they were non-Luke burgers, so all bets are off." Suddenly, Lorelai heard her cell phone ring and she dug through her purse to find it. Luke casually looked over at her as she read the caller ID. "Its Rory," she pronounced by way of explanation before answering the call. He nodded in understanding; as much as he disliked cell phones, Rory always had a waiver on that rule.

"Hey, honey," she said.

"Tell her I say hello," Luke interjected.

"Luke says hello," she added, then listened to Rory's response. "She says 'hello back, did you catch any good fish lately?' What does that mean? Rory, what does that mean? Is that some kind of new expression I've never heard of, cause if I haven't heard of it, I doubt Luke has."

Lorelai had not noticed it yet, but during her conversation with her daughter, they had pulled off the main road and were now approaching a small building with a number of cars outside in the parking lot. And beyond the building, if she had been looking, Lorelai would have noticed the shimmering beauty of the Atlantic Ocean.

But as Luke turned into the parking lot, Lorelai's attention was drawn away from her daughter's voice on the phone. "Where are we?" she asked Luke, although she already had a sneaking suspicion.

He did not have time to answer before they both spotted two familiar figures in the parking lot up ahead: one was Rory, her cell phone still to her ear, and the other was April in a basic push-wheel chair, a bulky cast still on her right leg. Both girls waved as they spotted Luke's truck, and Lorelai let out a shriek of surprise.

"Rory! April!" He barely had time to park before Lorelai was out the door and over to them, hugging them both fiercely. "What are you doing here?" she exclaimed.

Rory gave her a mischievous look, then gestured to Luke as he walked made his way towards them from the truck. "We were asked to be here, so we're here. Don't worry; we got permission from Anna to bring April. Although if I wanted to abduct her, I don't think she'd put up much of a fight."

"I wanted to come," the younger girl interjected. "I hear Martha's Vineyard has all kinds of interesting historical sites and marine life."

Lorelai beamed at Luke as she loosely wrapped her arms around him.

"Do you like your surprise?" he asked softly.

"I love my surprise."

"Well, there's one more thing you don't know about yet," he told her.

"What's that?"

He leaned down to whisper quietly in her ear, "We're getting married today. Just you and me, Rory and April on the beach with a minister."

Lorelai leaned back, her eyes shooting up in astonishment. She remembered their previous conversation about eloping at Martha's Vineyard, but she had assumed all elopement ideas had been abandoned when they had started planning their wedding.

"What about February 25th?" she asked. "We've already started planning. I have my dress! Sookie wants to make the cake. Sookie! She's not here. She wanted to be here-"

Luke put a finger to her mouth to quiet her before speaking. "February 25th is still on. We're still having the wedding. I want you to have the wedding you always wanted, in front of your friends and family and everyone else in that crazy town. But... I just couldn't want another eight months and a half to marry you. And I thought today, June 3rd, might be a good day to get married."

Lorelai's heart melted. He understood how she felt about the date. When they had left the house that morning, she had assumed he was merely taking her away for the weekend to make her feel better about the postponed date. After all, today was supposed to be her wedding day. And now... it was her wedding day.

"So we're getting married twice?"

Luke paused. "Technically."

"How very Niles and Daphne of you. That means you'll have two anniversaries to remember, you know," she said, giving him a smirk.

Luke nodded with all due seriousness before pronouncing, "I think I can handle that." Giving her a tender kiss before realizing that Rory and April were still standing nearby, watching them intently, he took her hand and began leading her to the ferry. "Come on crazy lady, lets go get married."

* * *

Due to April's limited mobility, Luke had arranged for ceremony to take place in a gazebo on the beach, with the water in the background. The lack of suitable clothing problem was taken care of as Luke had planned time for a small shopping spree at the local island shops. But going with the theme of the day, they all dressed in light, casual attire. Lorelai wore a simple white sundress with a flowing skirt that accentuated her figure. Rory and April had similar attire, although April insisted on blue and Rory was content with pink. Luke kept his jeans, but he changed into a light blue cotton shirt to fit in with the girls' clothing. 

_The girls. My girls_, he thought to himself as they stood under the pavilion with the minister he had hired to perform the ceremony. A light breeze moved over the beach, causing the skirts of their dresses to swish about their legs and the sea oats on the dunes to wave gently. Luke could hear the sound of the waves crashing and a few seagulls squawking in the distance. But all his attention was focused on the woman in front of him.

_God, she's beautiful. _The thought struck him just as strongly in that instant as it had the first time he had laid eyes on her, bursting into the diner in search of coffee. As beautiful as the day they stood in her front yard under the chuppah he made. Or the night they hid from Taylor behind the counter at the diner. She even looked as beautiful as the night they danced at Liz and TJ's wedding and the night he had kissed her on the front porch of the Dragonfly. Or the night she had proposed to him and he had accepted.

It occurred to Luke that perhaps the reason she looked so gorgeous to him at that moment was not simply because she was about to fulfill one of his greatest fantasies (marrying the woman of his dreams), but rather because she just looked so... happy. The joy seemed to radiate from her like sunshine as her crystal-clear blue eyes fixed him in an unwavering gaze of adoration. He was about to marry the most breathtakingly beautiful, loving, strong, smart, independent women he had ever known. He, Luke Danes, was about to become the husband of Lorelai Gilmore, the elusive creature who had haunted his dreams and waking hours for nearly ten years.

The ceremony itself was short and sweet, with the traditional exchange of vows kept simple. But before the minister pronounced them married, they decided to say a few words. While Lorelai was content to save any self-written vows for their more elaborate wedding in February, she sensed that Luke felt more comfortable expressing his feelings in a more intimate setting.

"Lorelai," he began, holding both of her hands in his as he stared deeply into her eyes, "You know I'm not really good with words. But I guess this is as good a time as any to say this... You are... I... I just... I don't think I ever knew what it was to really _love _someone until I met you. I mean... being with you has changed my life. You make me look at things differently, enjoy things more. You challenge me to take risks and do more than I ever thought was possible. I feel lucky to even know you, but being with you... I feel like the luckiest man in the world. And I want you to know, I'm going to spend the rest of my life showing you just how much I love you."

Luke's vow brought tears to her eyes and for several moments she fought to maintain her composure. "God Luke, you're making my cry on my wedding day," she whispered softly, but quickly added, "Happy tears. Very happy tears."

Taking a deep breath and blinking rapidly to clear her vision, Lorelai flashed him a brilliant smile. It was the kind of smile that always preceded a particularly thoughtful comment or huge favor from her. Luke remembered that smile from a hundred different moments, but he especially remembered it from his dream, the one he had shortly after Rory's graduation in which Lorelai had simply told him not to get engaged on his summer cruise. It was the smile of someone about to bare their soul.

"Luke..." she started, turning his name into a verbal caress. "You know, I've never felt as close to someone as I do to you. Except maybe Rory, but that's because I gave birth to her. But Luke, you have always been there for me. You've been my rock. My hero, really, in every way. You make me feel like I can do anything because you have such confidence in me. I honestly don't know where I would be right now without you, you've been such a presence in my life, and in Rory's." Risking a look over at her daughter, Lorelai noted that she was not the only Gilmore with tears in her eyes. "I don't think I ever expected to fall in love like this, to feel so connected to someone. Luke, you're my best friend. And I love you more than I can ever hope to express. I just hope I can make you half as happy as you've made me."

The minister barely had time to pronounce them 'husband and wife' before they were in each other's arms, their lips sealing the promises their hearts had made. Then they exchanged hugs with their daughters and thanked the minister. Pictures were taken and jokes were made, in true Gilmore-Danes fashion. The family - now truly a family - spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying the beach and beautiful summer day. Then Rory drove April home, leaving Luke and Lorelai to spend the rest of their weekend basking in the honeymoon glow of a couple who had gone through love's worst trials and come through the other side even more in love than before.

finis

* * *

**AN:** I fudged reality a bit with the criminal and marriage laws. The plea deal described is more suited to a first DUI offense, rather than a felony leaving the scene of an accident causing serious bodily injury, which the Litchfield man would likely have been charged with, in my opinion. As well, it seems that Massachusetts law requires a 3-day waiting period on marriage licenses that have to be applied for jointly. So if L&L had gotten married on that Saturday, it wouldn't have been really official until the following Tuesday. Just a couple of small nitpicks that I took artistic license with.


End file.
